It's Easier To Do the Thing You Are Avoiding

 It's easy to procrastinate, isn't it? It is WAY more fun to sit on the couch, lounge around, play an online game, watch t.v..., than it is to actually get up and accomplish what you know you should.  But, procrastination comes at a very high price.  Peace of mind.  

I have never been much of a procrastinator due to the very reason that it robs my peace of mind.  I cannot while away hours doing nothing when I know there is much to do.  It just isn't fun for me.  I cannot be convinced to do nothing with a day unless I have accomplished those tasks that I know need to be done.  

I'm not talking about housework (I can let dust rest better than most).  I speak mainly here of aligning my life's tasks with what I know are the strongest, healthiest and smartest moves I can make.  If I place those first, then when I do settle down, it is all the more sweeter.

I have found that the more I avoid what it is I know needs doing, the less peace I have.  In fact, it is easier to get up and accomplish those tasks than it is to listen to my mind remind me every few minutes that I really should get up and do something.  Compare it to when your dog keeps asking to go out and the more you avoid her, the more she gets up in your face until you can no longer ignore that the poor gal has to pee! (Don't judge me.  It's usually 4 a.m.!)  

If I did not listen to this inner voice I would be out of shape, disorganized and probably a lot less educated.  I would live in a reclusive world, disconnected and alone.  I would be hopelessly taunted by guilt pressing in on every side nudging me to move it or lose it.  I really believe it is easier to get up and go to stay strong, healthy and active, than it is to live in the doldrums of weakness and inactivity. (possibly resulting in illness or disease). 

This is not just about lifestyle.  It's about knowing that it's harder in the longer run to ignore yourself and those tasks that need your attention, than it is to actually attend to them.  It's ultimately more pleasant and I assure you, better for you.  

Take Good Care Today.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW

 You Know What You Know What You Know

Do you question yourself all the time?  Should I do this or do that?  Should I go to that or not go to that event?  I thought I knew what to say and now I'm not so sure.  I felt like I was on the right path, now I don't know anymore.  Do you hear these words inside of your head often?  

If you do, you're suffering from not reminding yourself that you know what you know what you know about yourself.  No one knows YOU like you know YOU.  No one else can tell you what is right for you, or what is not right for you.  You must connect with yourself on such a deep level, that you know what you know about yourself and there is nothing in the whole world that can take that from you.

For me, I know I am a strong, talented and skilled woman.  I know I make an impression wherever I go and I know people look at me and think, Wow, she has it all together!  And I do!  I have it all together...except for when I forget I know what I know what I know.  The trouble is, I forget this now and again.  This is my struggle in life.  Whether it's from childhood trauma, or lazy mind self-control...whatever has caused me to question myself and WHO I AM,  has taken root in me and it takes a TON of work for me to negate negativity and move on to that more positive place where I know what I know what I know.

It helps me to write.  Sunshine helps.  Warm weather helps.  Joy-filled people help.  God, (thank God) helps. Those are the outside factors that help, but what it really takes to remind me is HARD WORK.  It is hard, hard work to  keep your head above water most days and keep yourself centered.  It does get easier, but I can only say that to you with head-knowledge.  I can't say I've succeeded perfectly with this at this point in my life.  

However, I am gaining ground.  Presently, I am worried over whether I will find a new job.  My weak mind goes over and over the scenario of this NOT happening.  However, at this point in my life I have never lost my home, all my belongings and lived on the street.  I have always somehow managed to know what I know what I know long enough for someone else to see that person and offer me a job.  This will continually happen if I know what I know.  

Once again, I leave you with the January musings from a mind that worries too much and doesn't trust what she knows.  Please follow my lead and begin to reach for what you truly know before you head down the path of least resistance.  Apply what you know to what you know.  It is who you are at your core.  Now step out and faith, with me, and KNOW IT!

Take Good Care Today.

Where My Mind Goes

Where My Mind Goes

 If you want to know how ridiculous my mind is, I am happy to tell you.  I am willing to share because I can only hope that I can help someone else when her mind goes down the same road as mine.  Also, if I write what is on my heart, I can somehow solve my way through these thoughts and out the other side to a place of more intelligence and brevity.  

When something strikes a nerve with me and causes me to begin to worry (so many things the older I get), my mind travels down the icy hell hole of worst possible scenarios.  I am very good at imagining the worst.  I can pull up every horrible memory and apply it to the present situation.  Presently, I am in a waiting room at a hospital.  My husband has just had knee replacement surgery.  He is in recovery.  While here in the waiting room, I have heard three different women on the over-loud t.v. mention the loss of the love of their lives.  Oh my, is this a sign?  Is this what is going to happen to me?

Then I hear from the doctor.  All went well and be sure to follow the directions.  Well, I am sure I won't do that correctly.  Does the dr. know that my husband's mother died from a post operative blood clot days after this very kind of surgery?  What about infection?  How will he ever make it?  Sure, they do this every day...sure they will go through everything with me.  Does my calm and intelligent mind listen?  NO!  Only my fearful mind perks up and sets the wheels of worry in motion. 

So, I go to the nurses to ask a question.  Nurses wear masks and are very busy people.  I ask about recovery and where he is at this moment.  The nurse is curt.  She is matter-of-fact.  She is not connected to my husband nor does she see under my mask or through my eyes that I have worked myself into a worry place and I want to cry.  I need comfort and just want to hear comforting words.  She has no idea.  She delivers information as if she is spitting out a receipt from a register.  No comfort here.

Then I text a friend who offers love, scripture and sweet words.  Yes, this helps some but the anxiety is still roaming around my solar plexus and  wants to take root.  I am imagining him spending the night.  I am imagining living without him.  I am bargaining with God.  I am offering sacrifices seeking what I might give up to save his life.  I am envisioning the lonely life of a single woman.  Where will I live?  Where will I go?  How will I ever move on?

So, then I  begin writing this blog post.  The mirror of my words faces back at me.  Jane, what are you doing?  Where are you going?  Is this helpful?  Do you understand the difference between reality and the supposed musings you have gathered?  I don't think you do.  I think you need some endorphins.  I think you need some smiles.  I think you need some happiness reminders.  Pull yourself up, Jane.  You've done it a million times.  Time to do it again.  Cut it out. Cut it out.

Now I breathe.  I breathe the breaths I have been taught by my therapist, Corina.  In through the nose, hold, out through the mouth.  Repeat.  Look to the horizon.  I see the majestic Blue Ridge Mountains.  I see blue sky.  I see paths where planes have taken off to far off destinations bringing folks on vacations or home or anywhere on this blessed earth.  I learn again to trust God.  I remind myself of all the good in my life and that God has been with me every little second of every little day.  Ever since I was 12 years old, when I began to believe in God, I have known deep down that He is in control of my life.  No amount of worry will ever change one thing in my life.  However, positivity WILL.  

So, once again, I talk to my brain and emotions and tell them to come back to the place where joy resides.  Come back!  You over there, with one leg over the edge of the cliff to no where, come back!  You control your mind.  It does not control you...not that it doesn't try.  

Take Good Care Today.  

Who is Your Person?

Who is Your PERSON?

Who's Your Person?

In just a few days my husband will have knee replacement surgery.  Interestingly, just after his hip replacement in the middle of Covid shut-down in the spring of 2020, his knee on the same leg began to cause him extreme pain.  Of course, this is all no surprise to the doctors and falls within the normal expectations.  He's worked his body very hard providing for his family and his body needs some help, so here we go again.

As I ponder the short-term future, so many things come to mind.  I consider his recovery and pray all will go well.  In the middle of the night, when my mind's guard is down, I fear the worst.  I know that however much time I commit to worry over this it will change 0% of the outcome.  No matter where my thoughts travel, one thing always resurfaces:  HE is my person.  

Don't get me wrong.  I have terrific friends.  Leann and Kathy would never abandon me and have dropped their own lives on several occasions to be at my side.  I have a loving family - a lovely mom and step-dad and wonderful sister.  I am close to my own children and adore all that is them.  But, and it's a huge but, no one in that list can be 'my person'.  They all have to have their own persons just like I have to have mine.  

My person is not perfect.  He does not do things 'my way' or always think what I think.  But, my person knows me.  He can get me out of a bad mood when I'm down.  He prays with me when I'm in need.  He surprises me with his wit and intellect.  He cares for me in a way no one ever has.  HE Is My Person.  

I've lived along enough to know that the world is a better place when we open our hearts to another in a way makes us vulnerable and exposed.  It is worth the risk.  We do get hurt.  This person is not my first person.  My first person let me down in a way that hurt for a long time.  However, even knowing that, I still opened myself up to a new person.  I am an awesome person and fun to be around, but I am not everything to me.  I want to have someone to hold my hand and give me his shoulder to rest upon.  I want the joys and sorrows of life to be co-anchored.  I don't want to face everything, or anything, alone.  I am willing to compromise, labor and sacrifice so that another person wants to hang with me in this life.

I know not everyone needs or wants to have someone who is just hers or his.  I mean, I can't really fathom that, but I'll acknowledge it's a thing.  However, I need my person, this person. The old BREAD song says it best: 

"If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away" (David Gates)

Take Good Care Today.