Get Your Mojo Back!

Long dark hours, overwork, illness, or something of these sorts can get into your insides and mess up your mojo. Mojo Mess-Up is insideous. We don't realize it is happening until we are in the full throes of MMU. In hindsight, MMU can be identified. Each time we enter a phase of MMU, we learn from it and promise ourselves we won't let it happen again. Until....alas, it creeps its way behind our backs...

If you have suffered from this lopsided living you know to what I am referring. I recently had a cold which turned into a nasty, dry cough. I knew I was ill but continued to go to work and drag myself down all the more, despite having paid work-days available to me. I kept telling myself I wasn't that bad and I knew I had a vacation coming. I pushed beyond what my poor body could handle and oooppppss! There goes my Mojo!

I have spent numerous holidays and vacations over the years in bed with illnesses. There was one Christmas I laid on the couch with the stomach bug. Last April, the flu. The February before that, another virus. I seem to have a will to hang on until a scheduled break happens. The sad part is that scheduled break was meant for me to enjoy and get out into the world, or reconnect with home if I so choose. However, as you can guess, this doesn't happen because I spend the breaks in bed. This time Bronchitis.

You would think I was hypocritical if you read me consistently because I am always on my soapbox spouting off about resting and rejuvenation. I will go on and on about how a woman needs to stay balanced and steady...

...Then PLOP! There I go right off the deep end into illness myself. This angers me and frustrates me. I don't seem to learn.

But, then again, I do. I learn that I can't control the universe. I learn that I am a dedicated worker who sometimes makes the wrong choices. I learn that I shouldn't have thought I wasn't replaceable for at least a day or two at work. I learn I need to listen more closely to myself and examine my health. For me, if I have to ask myself, 'Are you sick?' I usually am. If it doesn't occur to me to even ask, I am in perfect health and am ready for the world.

If you get off kilter and your Mojo goes on walk-about, grab it by the scruff of the neck and pull it back into your bosom.  Let nothing take it from you.  Protect the Mojo!

Mojo. Where are you? Oh there you are...in the sunlight that streams through the windows of my warm home on a bright winter day. There you are under the apple tree with the bees in summer. There you are in my pillow, across my eyelids, along the dirt road, inside my heart and shining off the sparkle of my earring. I knew you were there all along.

Try not to suffer from MMU.

Take Good Care Today.

The Love of a Good Spouse

The word 'spouse' comes from the Latin 'espouse' which means to adopt, support or marry. Synonyms for this word are: partner, mate, consort. If you have a spouse, I hope yours supports you and is a true partner and mate. I hope he or she is one with whom you have a great time consorting. If you do have this, there are few greater blessings on this earth.

I am blessed with an amazing spouse. Some of the qualities that I am thankful he possesses are: he's supportive, he's caring, he is doting, he admires me, he wants my happiness, he finds joy in me. These are must-haves when considering a love for life.

I would not presume to think that everyone needs the same kind of partner in life. However, I must say I do cling to a few 'old fashioned'- if you will-ideas of what a spouse should be like. If the person who is offering you their affection, and desiring yours in return, does not 100% want to be with you almost all the time...they may not be a good choice. If they find little things wrong with you and choose to point them out to you, I'd look elsewhere. People are not perfect, by any means, but it is truly important that the one you live the closest to adores you beyond a shadow of a doubt and would never consider doing one thing that might bring you harm. This person, your other half, must be enthralled by your existence and need you to survive. I am not wearing rose-colored glasses when I write these words. True love cannot be tamed. It is passionate. Not at every second and it is a different kind of passion at different stages.

True love need not be right, only compatible. Lord knows each of us loves to be right, but to keep the peace, it is kind to be quiet. There are times we must support each other over the same struggles for years on end. There are times we don't want to have patience with our spouses, but we must. There are times when we have to lift each other up because one has fallen and can't do it on their own.

The love of a good spouse is hard to find, but if you open your heart to love I believe you can make love. Love is created. It grows like a live being. It puts roots down in hearts and blooms in fragrances that sweeten the lives of those who possess it.

Two beings that desire and put love above all else, find it waiting to be molded, like clay, to fit.


Take Good Care Today.

Live Your Truth

I worked for a woman once (5 years) who stole my truth from me. She used aggression and scare tactics to put the fear of God into me so that I was practically paralyzed at work. I was afraid of my shadow and anxiety ruled my days. Sadly, this came after a marriage that did very much the same thing to me. I became someone who could not fearlessly live her own truth.

If you know yourself, you know what your truths are. You have to live by them! You simply cannot let another person affect you so deeply that they take away your truths. I could not continue in my profession if someone told me I couldn't be creative and weird. If someone told me I couldn't parade around the classroom with a fake banana on a stick, I would shrivel up. If they passed a law that I couldn't sing passages of books to kids, or wear a crown all day or a blue star on my forehead-- I would have to say, “Thank you very, very much for the opportunity, but I am a HUMAN woman and I have to be a HUMAN woman because I can't do NONHUMAN, so here's your job back.” Then I would go twirl around three times and walk in whatever direction I landed in...toward my truth.

We know our truths. They are part of us. Our truths are what we need to occupy our time. Our truths lie inside of what we steal from a passage of a book, like when I read Ray Bradbury's line, “I did not know I would surprise myself.” Our truths are when we cry over something that no one else cares about. Our truths are our essence. They guide us with a compass that instead of north, south, east or west, reads heart, soul, spirit, essence.

My dear friend, the world is blessed to have you in it. Please, do not alter yourself for the WORLD. Offer yourself instead. YOU are what is needed. Wherever you have been planted, BLOOM. Unearth the stable ground you stand on by laying claim to all that you are! Shake MANKIND up. We need you. Only you can fill your shoes.



Live your truth. If you care, here are some of mine:
I must be silly a lot.
I love to wear what makes me feel beautiful.
I love people of all ages, especially children and the elderly.
I have to physically touch people. I do this for them so they know they are okay and loved and I do it for me because I can't stand people not knowing they are okay and loved.
I need to smile.
I need to read books that help me understand life.
I need beautiful things around me.
I need a breathing (often snoring) animal in my life at all times.
I have to break the rules whenever I can because I can and I don't appreciate rules because they confine me and put me in a box and I hate boxes so much.
I love to push my body hard.
I love to push my mind hard.
I really like staying home and finding joy in teeny little things that no one notices.
I love twirling, swinging and goofing off.
I never want to grow up.
Few situations intimidate me because I love people so much and I find it a challenge to love the unlovable.



Take Good Care Today.   

Don't Wait to Be Happy

When you ask an older person what their best advice is, you will often get answers that parallel the title of this piece. Many of us are perfectionists and are continually striving for that unattainable perceived perfection while simultaneously putting off fully living. I once cried in the bathroom instead of going out dancing with my husband. Why? I felt 128 pounds was fat and ugly. YUP. That's a truth right there. How stupid was that? Right up there on the stupid list.

First of all, everything is relative and if we don't put things into perspective we will live a skewed life and never reach full joy. In truth, if we are alive and upright, there should be very few reasons not to be happy. We live our lives so full of our own egos that we forget that we are not the center of the universe. We should be grateful for the very air we breathe for that is enough to warrant happiness. The size of our thighs has no bearing on our joy and if it does, shame on us. Joy should dwell in the center of our beings and not be subject to the whims of the world.

I know some women hate their thighs. I suppose I could agree that it can be reasonable to not be happy with a part of your body, I mean, who am I kidding? I am the one who cried over weighing 128 pounds! I wish I had never let myself begin to care about the outer shell...but I do and to be honest, I don't mind mine most of the time...if I remember to not be ridiculously focused on trying to reach unattainable, silly ideas of what the world thinks is perfect. But we must realize that it is all so shallow and silly to care about these things. After all, one's weight is simply the amount of gravitational pull that keeps one anchored to the Earth!* That is the REALITY.


When we begin to put off our happiness by dwelling on the unsubstantial and irrelevant we travel down a path that is very close to the black hole of surface living. I have seen many television shows that spotlight people who have surgery after surgery to perfect their bodies and this is not something I can comprehend. But, I would not begin to judge....so we'll move on. Can I just say that I would not put a knife to my body unless absolutely necessary? Okay, I'll shut up now.

All I really know is as we grow up inside ourselves (and this is continual) we should begin to let go of letting little things rob our joy. We are perfect beings already and anything else we desire is fleeting. Do not let another moment on this lovely Earth go by without readjusting your mindset and realizing that you already are perfect in this human form and everything else is inconsequential.




Take Good Care Today.   

*Thank you, Lisa Mitchell Page~

When Life Gives You Lemons

We've all been given a few lemons. Sometimes we've been given better fruit (plums?) and we ended up with lemons by our own doing. Other times we've just plain started with a lemon and it stayed a lemon. Any way you look at it...lemons are a symbol for something we have no desire to have. Some of our lemons are people with whom we don't get along. Some of us have a lemon of a job. Others of us were given a lemon in the shape of a disease or a disability. Whatever the lemon, we must find a way to make the best of it.


It is said we all have a set happiness point. That means that we have a certain measure of happiness and that no matter what happens in life we settle back up or down to that same happiness point.  If we were to win the lottery we'd be elated for awhile, but eventually, our happiness set-point would be right back at the same place it was before the lottery. Similarly, if we were suddenly incapacitated and wheel-chair bound, we would be depressed for a certain time and then we would eventually return to that general happiness we once beheld.


I tend to agree with this to an extent. If I close my eyes and envision winning the lottery, I can see a time when it would normalize into 'my life' again and be ho hum and every day soon enough. Comparitively, if I envision myself wheel-chair bound, I know it would be difficult, but once enough time had passed, I could see myself thriving just as I do now, just under different terms.


On the other hand, I don't totally agree with the happiness theory because I do know that I grow happier all the time and my happiness increases as I age. Therefore, I conclude that with age comes widsom and with wisdom comes more contentedness. There surely are aspects of my life that I control which increase my happiness level. If I stay in shape, eat well and keep rested, I thrive and joy abounds. If not, I'm in the toilet in a flash.


Where were we? Lemons. Ah yes. Lemons. We will all be thrown a few lemons. I am not sure I have always been capable of turning them into lemonade. But, I do think they can be be admired for their yellow-sunshiny orbiness and then reused and repurposed. Incidentally, the uses of lemons are limitless. If you Google 'uses of lemons,' here are a few ideas you will get:


Refresh your cutting boards
Help with respiratory problems
Prevent kidney stones
Keep insects out of kitchen
Treat Arthritis and Rheumatism
Freshen refrigerators
Treat high blood pressure
Keep cauliflower from turning brown
Spritz up your water


You get my point. Lemons are lemons but we are smart women. We can do anything! So, if life hands you a lemon or two....you know what to do! Face and Embrace!


Take Good Care Today!

Comfort

Comfort is a good thing. Some find comfort in their pets. Others find comfort in food or drink. Still another might get their comfort from an object. Wherever you get your comfort, you should make sure it is life-affirming and regenerating.

I adore my bed. The big fluffy comforter and fluffy pillows are so welcoming. I love the puffy decorative pillows and the soft cover blanket. The lighting in my bedroom casts a gentle and calming glow across the inviting surface of my bed. When making my bed in the morning I dream of when I can get back in the supple covers again that night. I know that whatever I go through during the day that lies before me...I will be able to end my day by crawling back in the dreamy softness that night.

There are often high anxiety times in our lives and it is so helpful to a woman to know that no matter what she has to face every day, she can come home to a delightful atmosphere that assuages and nurtures her inner self. Try to take a few steps toward making your comfort spot more inviting if you feel it is lacking. Here are some ideas:



~Make a spot in your home with a comfy chair, a big, warm and soft blanket, a table for books and devices and a pretty lamp.
~Change the light bulbs in your spot so that they are subdued
~Fluff up pillows, add more pillows, recover old pillows
~Place comforters on top of comforters....there are no rules
~Add fresh cut flowers; force a bulb
~Make sure you can put your feet up
~Put some mani and pedi tools in a basket next to your spot
~Make sure you have your favorite items around you: knitting, books, Kindle, ipad, magazines


Whatever you do on this day or wherever you go...you have this spot in the back of your mind and you know you will be able to return to the comfort of your spot. You can unfold and melt into it with warm tea and a cookie. Life is busy, loud and harsh at times. Do not forget to comfort yourself so that you are fully able to give another day just as much as you give today. Rejuvenate yourself; mollify yourself; care for yourself. Make comfort for yourself.

Take Good Care Today.

Protect Your Sacred

I like my immediate atmosphere to be serene and calm.

If you are anything like me, you can't face coming back to a messy home. If I leave dishes in the sink or an unmade bed, I am a little perturbed upon reentry. I've learned to mellow a bit about this over the years and I certainly think hormones often play with a woman's emotions...but that said...I much prefer an orderly and peaceful ambience.

I am extremely sensitive to color and noise. My favorite day is one spent in my home, but that home must exhibit the comfort and personality I need it to. For me, that is subdued earth-tones with a hint of old fashioned/french country/roaring 20's look...I don't know all the fancy decorator's terms...I need gentle lighting, flowy curtains, books, and neatness. I thrive in this setting.

I want joyful noises or no noises at all. I love bird song and have many cd's of this sort. There are times I can't stand a television and wish they weren't invented. (many times)

These ways of mine are my sacred. I developed them over the years as protection from the world and remedy for my heart. They have served to help me recuperate from pain. My surroundings are part of my joy and I get a great deal of pleasure from them. I would not do as well if I were not able to be in control of my immediate atmosphere.

However, we should be careful that we don't 'control' too much of ourselves in this respect. Life can become too restricted and one can fear leaving that protection one has created. It can be cumbersome to NEED a certain atmosphere in order to thrive. One wants to be able to do well no matter what the surroundings knowing full well that they are whole and capable no matter what is around them. We can put ourselves in a box and never want to venture out.

Yes, protect your sacred surroundings. Do not let another traipse on your special ways. They define you and help you in your everyday life. However, do not let your sacred overpower you and make you live a small life. Beware that humans have the tendency to crawl inside that safety and stay warm and cozy forever missing many adventures and joys.

Guard what you love, but be open to life!


Take Good Care Today!

Life Muscle!

It may not feel like it when you are going through a hard time—but every hardship you go through is making you stronger.


If you exercise really hard to the point that you 'feel the burn' and the next day you're a little sore—you just made yourself a little stronger. If you do it again and again it gets easier because you have built up your endurance and capacity to work out harder. This is exactly what happens when you go through a tough time in life. The next time it won't be as hard because you built up your endurance a little the last time you went through a hard time.


Those trying times are our training for how to handle life. They are boot camp for your inner soul. Think back to times when you were in your 20's. Everything was BIG and problems were so AWFUL! You just knew you were going to die if things didn't work out how you thought they should. But, living through those trials is exactly what you did and in doing so you made yourself a little stronger. Your heart became more capable of handling the tougher workouts. You built life muscle!

What a great feeling it is to know that you are in condition and can handle anything life throws at you. You are in shape enough to climb that mountain that is laid before you. It may not be easy and it may not be the most fun—but realize that you are a strong woman. You have built up endurance over the years. Your heart DOES have the capacity to take you up that large struggle and down the other side. You can do it because you've worked out all these years. You've exercised your inner muscles and they are pumping the iron of this next hurdle. Trust in your strength. You can press some weight, dear one. So...fear not! You've got the muscle!




Take Good Care Today.

That Girl You Once Were

“The more you know with clarity who you are the less vulnerable you are to what other people say and think about you. And the most important relationship you are ever going to have in your life is the one you have with yourself.” Dr. Phil McGraw 


These were the words Dr. Phil gave to a woman the other day on his television show. I could not think of better words to encourage a woman to believe in herself and nurture that belief through self-love.

Sometimes I think I am more and more like I was when I was 11 years old. Those were the days I wandered through Vermont fields, seeing where the cow paths would take me on my step-dad's 1000 acre dairy farm. I held a copy of Robert Frost's, North of Boston poetry and some writing materials of my own. I would find little spots to sit and look out upon the world letting nature and one of nature's finest writers, inspire me.

This was the time period in my life when I was incredibly impressionable and 'Jane' was being built. I admired women who wore jewels and pretty clothes, I baked eccentric desserts like 'Baked Alaska' and hosted dinner parties for my family serving 'Crepe Suzette.' I coerced my twin brothers to come to 'summer school' (aka: Daytime Playtime) and learn to tie their shoes and write their names. I twirled and danced and laughed and played. I read books like, To Kill a Mockingbird and Mutiny on the Bounty without being instructed. My imagination was at its most thrilling!

But—the world of judgment crept in and it wasn't long before I was no longer that girl but a chubby middle schooler who was very sensitive and afraid. I let others' judgments tear me down and it was a long time before I found myself again. Little by little over the years, that 11 year-old has resurfaced and pieced herself back together. Sometimes, I feel close to her. I feel her presence and I recognize that I am still her.  In fact, I am HER personified.

I know you are thinking of that girl you once were. She makes you smile doesn't she? Is she in there somewhere? I would encourage you to write down some of the things that you used to love that formed you into who you are now. List those early inspirations and reconnect with them. I can almost guarantee they remained inside of you all these years and want to come out of the dark and be part of you again.

You are YOU and there is no one like you. You should love that woman you see in the mirror and know her well. No one else's opinion matters nearly as much as that girl's. Befriend her. Smile at her. Hold her hand and tell her that she is FINE! She will never leave you. (And might I suggest a little Robert Frost now and again?)


Take Good Care Today.   

Who Made the Rules?

The kitchen, (if you could call it that) had insulation walls and  a sink held up by 2x4's.  There was a hole in the floor smack dab in the middle of the room with a rug pulled over it so one could navigate the room without plunging to the cellar. The bathroom had no shower, no sink-- just a bathtub that I once did dishes in but now bathed children. Water was warmed on the stove and then poured carefully into the porcelain and  mixed with cold so as not to scald tender flesh. This was a time in my life that wore me down. I tried so hard to make the best of that old house with the meager resources I had around me.

The epiphany came one day when I couldn't stand another moment of the living conditions and was at my wit's end trying to better my situation. I was vacuuming the carpet over the whole in the floor and beside the 2x4 makeshift sink, when it hit me. “Who made the rules?” I said to myself. The question came into my head and has never left it. I realized right then and there that if I wanted a kitchen I was going to have to build one myself. Now, at the very moment I realized I was going to do this, I knew I would be following through with this endeavor in the most unconventional way as I lacked the skill to actually build anything!

I went to the old, fallen-in barn that was on our property and I tore off barn boards. I nailed them over the insulation and make a very rustic kitchen wall covering. I used those same barn boards to make shelves which stored dishes and mason jars full of my family's foods. I hammered and I nailed while the whole time telling myself that my barn board walls were just as good as any plaster and sheet rock ones. I defied the rules and pushed myself into the nonconformity that had always been inside of me. I needed a kitchen and, by God, I built one. (Not long after, I built my son a bedroom, re-did my daughter's room – complete with enclosed princess bed, and this is only one story!)

There are times in our lives when we have to apply ourselves-- change the rules as we once knew them. We roll up our sleeves and build a kitchen. If you don't do it, it won't happen.

Make your own rules, dear friend. Then live like crazy by them!



Take Good Care Today!

Do Something Different

What can you do to change it up in the middle of the dreary winter? You can't take another day of the same old, same old. The weather is driving you nuts. The darkness is getting to you. You're considering work from home options like licking envelopes more every day just so you don't have to go outside one more time?

I get it. I am there with you. But, there are many little things you can do to enhance your life right now and get a fresh perspective, or at least have a little more fun with the blah days of winter...
Here are some ideas:



Plan the Biggest Bubble Bath in the World
Snow shoe around your own yard
Re-purpose something
Go through your closets and bag up what you don't wear
Color with crayons
Art Journal
Make a Smoothie
Plant Something
Make a tent and read inside of it
Cook a turkey dinner



The idea here is to enhance your life out of what you have around you. You have a rich life full of resources that are just waiting to be accessed. It is amazing to take what you have and look at it differently and find a new purpose for it. This is an acquired talent but one you can put into practice at any time in your life.

We tend to go through life doing the necessary only and every so often we feel the loss of our creativity with an inner boredom that comes out of nowhere and blindsides us! We suddenly realize that life is mundane and there is little joy or fun. This is because we have not paid attention to that side of our lives and have let go of the importance of nurturing our own bliss. It is a sad day when we realize our inner kid has slipped away, but it is easily remedied!

Look around your house today for little items that bring you joy. Find projects that are awaiting your attention. Pick up that hobby you put down and forgot about. Look through recipes, organize and digitize old photos, make a scrapbook...you know what you like; you know! Create your own fun and reap the benefits of a better day!


Take Good Care Today!

Bosom Buddies

"A bosom friend--an intimate friend, you know--a really

kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I've

dreamed of meeting her all my life. I never really supposed

I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true

all at once that perhaps this one will, too. Do you think

it's possible?"

-L.M. Montgomery (Anne of Green Gables)

You know when you meet someone and you just connect immediately? Then as you get to know each other the deepness turns into something longer lasting and it is as if the two of you were meant to meet and be friends? That is what I call a Bosom Buddy. A friend at first and then a friend forever. The relationship is easy, you laugh a lot and you know exactly what the person is saying, you 'GET' each other.

I am a gregarious person which has helped me bond with lots of people. I have a good deal of Bosom Buddies. Some are the closest of the close and others are in and out of my life. But, whenever I speak with a Bosom Buddy, there is no time lost and we are right there in the thickness of friendship again. It is a blessing.

My life would be dry and lonely without my Bosom Buddies. Some are work buddies who non-judgmentally love me and accept me. Some are personal BB's who have held me while I shook crying or transported me to the doctors when I was too ill to drive. There are those I meet up with to exercise, drive to meetings together....or am related to! I've had some that were my teachers and others my students!

My most recent Bosom Buddy discovery was while having my hair done. I noticed my hair dresser had a rose candle on her table. I mentioned how much I love the scent and she shared how her devotion to the smell came from a childhood memory of sitting on the bathtub watching her mom put on her white nurse's uniform and then lather her body rose lotion.I shared with her that my affinity of the scent came similarly from the Avon soaps my favorite Auntie Luci had on the back of her toilet in a little dish. The beautiful scent stayed with me throughout my childhood and still brings memories of her...even after her passing from this earth. I was thrilled that my hair dresser and I made this connection and it impressed upon my heart a new little Bosom Buddy stamp.

My life has been greatly enriched by the presence of my Bosom Buddies! What kind of life would you have had thus far without them? Make sure you acknowledge these folks in your life and let them know that you have appreciated them and needed them over the years.

Take Good Care Today.

Bravery 101

Have you been called to be brave? It does not come easy...it takes an inner strength-- often when we don't feel like we have any strength at all. Sometimes we have to be brave when it feels like the world is telling us no. We have to be brave when we realize we don't have easy answers. We must look to our brave side when we have to lean on ourselves because there is no one else. Life takes bravery.

The cycles of life ebb and flow through easy times and times that test us. There are times when we think we've had to be brave and then we meet someone who has been pushed to the very edge of bravery and we realize we have never had it so bad.  There is always someone else battling something worse than you. There is always another who faces humbling circumstances on a daily basis in which they are called on to exert their bravest selves.  It is as if bravery is served in the exact amount that is needed at the time...never too much...like toothpaste from a tube.  It need be applied, however.

If you need to  practice bravery in your life right now, turn to stories where others have drawn upon their inner strength an applied resilience to their lives. Model other strong people who, at their moment of deepest need, didn't know how they would pull through, either. By the very act of pushing through, they made it. Fix your eyes on a brave person for their perseverance is there as a real-life you tube video for you to examine. You can learn from another's tenacity to make it through a tough time. You are learning now.

Look around and see the brave people around you. Even in your darkest hour you will see another's strength and it will inspire you. People are made to handle a lot. You can, too.

Take Good Care Today.

Third Story With Skylights

“There are first-story people, second-story people and third-story people with skylights.” This is my paraphrase of a quote that I read more than 30 years ago. I believe it was in a religion course in college when I became familiar with this idea. It literally changed me.

First-story people are everywhere. They are one-dimensional. They do not delve into the depths of the human spirit. They reside on the surface of life, skimming across lessons and weaving in between deep connections. First story people are shallow and wanting. They do not think deeply or perceive truths. One does not want to be a first story person.

Second-story people are those folks who possess a bit more substance. They may recognize life's treasures but they do not know how to grasp its trinkets and hold on to them. Lessons whiz past their heads--some are caught while many zip by unnoticed. Connections are temporal. These folks get a little more out of life than do the first-story people, but not much.

Third-story people with skylights are the ones who really 'get' life. They exist in that visceral sweet spot where they can either take or leave just about anything and be fine. They are not attached to the earth the way others are. They have a wisdom that allows them to be free from judgment – their own as well as that of others'. Third-story people may live in that enlightened paradise where they just might prefer being alone with a dog than in a room full of people. Conversely, they may be so comfortable around any crowd that they are able to minster to others' needs while having almost no needs of their own. Third-story people THINK. They put thought into their existence. They float above the every day ho hums and tiny pecking problems. They are able to separate themselves from the items and cares of this world and see all as one.

When I read that quote so many years ago, I knew I was a third-story person (at least in the making...). I also knew that anyone I ever hoped to have a relationship with would also have to be third-story person. Over the course of my lifetime, I have  come to realize that all of my deep friendships are with others who live on the same story as me and look out those same skylights. I don't claim to be the ideal model of higher plane existence nor do I claim to be evolved to the point of perfection--only to strive for it.  But, I know where I do not live--and I do not live on the first or second-story.  

What story do you hail from? I bet it is the third as you are reading this blog! I hope it is, because I believe, in my heart, it is a place we should all call home.


Take Good Care Today.  

You Don't Have to Be Good

You can't always be good.  There are days when you are just going to not be good. Moments in your lives will find you eating the wrong foods, getting mad at people, swearing, or being ugly to the world. You are going to have a day now and then when you won't want to go to the family party; you won't want to like your husband; you want to say that mean thing you've been holding back on. There will be a day when you steel the parking place from the old lady, or slide in front of the mother with 3 whining toddlers in the grocery store.  You will lose all control and declare you will never do another dish, or wash anyone else's clothes as long as you live. You won't feel like being kind and you may make small children cry. You sometimes can't be good.  You know what?  You don't have to be good.

You have my permission to NOT be good ALL the time.  I mean, you can't make a habit of this, but once in a great while, cut yourself some slack.  We do the best we can 99.9% of the time, do we not?  What if just once in a great while you just allowed the slip up?  Go one step further and don't consider it a slip up, but a part of life.  Because, simply, it is.  Don't punish yourself forever for doing a 'not so nice' thing.  If you have to apologize or make it right somehow, do so when you get the first opportunity.  Then just chalk it up to 'one of those things' that happened on 'one of those days.'

What I am trying to say to you is, 'let go of the ideal,' a little.  I don't mean drop your whole weight loss battle or give up your college studies.  But maybe see yourself with some kinder eyes and allow yourself the same margin of error you would allow another.  Okay, so you told your coworker
her shoes were frumpy.  It slipped out when you were joking around!  You said you were sorry.  You called yourself a heel. Now, just move on and forget it.  You can't expect to be good at all times on every occasion.

Why?  Well, because you are a human.  YUP.  Isn't it GRAND?  Humans fail.  They mess up.  They over-drive the road conditions (thank my husband for that one.....grrrrr....apparently that is why I went off the road! :))  Expect this.  Don't try to screw up.  Don't encourage it in others.  But, expect it if it happens.  Then, forgive and forget.

You don't have to be good.

Take Good Care Today.

Wild Geese

by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes, 

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, 

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting  

over and over announcing your place 

in the family of things.

Be Careful What You Tell Yourself

Some of us struggle with anxiety. This world is full of pressures that pull at our insides. Every day bills come in the mail that demand our hard-earned money. The garage door breaks; there is a smell from the sink; the dog tracks in some unknown substance (in the middle of the winter?) and the other dog is chronically ill. This is all on top of the normal demands of every day life such as working, performing house chores, attending required outings, and shopping, to name a few. It can be too much. It can be overwhelming.


That very word...overwhelming, is my go-to word and it is a DANGEROUS word for me. If I start to tell myself I am overwhelmed – I am! If I tell myself I can't handle all of this....I get more overwhelmed and start spinning inside my mind. My heart begins to race; I drink shake-inducing amounts of coffee, and run from task to task. I am that kind of person who finds it hard to NOT complete something. On top of this.... I have to complete it with pizzazz and amazingness! I can't go half-way. Even as I write this I begin to get overwhelmed because in the back of my mind I am seeing the list of things I have to accomplish.


But!!!! If I calm down, write out the items that need attending to-- I sense some relief. Often, going outside and getting some fresh air helps. Have you ever climbed a mountain and looked out over the horizon and suddenly felt that your life is small and somewhat easy?  You were filled with a peace and you just knew all will be well? There is something mollifying about looking out at the vast hugeness of the universe that assuages fear and anxiety. I read a young adult novel once that spoke of two things that mystify man: fire and running water. But I would add that looking out at the universe is also medicinal and beneficial. Perspective is what you are gaining. Those chores or demands on your life suddenly seem small and insignificant when you gain some perspective. You may be able to drop some of them off your list. You may be able to rethink some demands and work smarter--not longer. You begin to realize that money is not YOU. It is a thing. Keep them separate. Rise out of the blurring and blinding mess of everyday demands on you and breathe! You are an entity that thrives on this earth. Gravity is all that holds you down. You are given a few years to exist and then who knows? So, dear one.....Breathe. Breathe.


Breathing is a gift and will reduce your anxiety. Love today the best you can.

Take Good Care Today.  

Take the Focus Off Yourself

We are a society of people who have more down time than any other period in history. We have tweaked technology and gadgetry in such a way that we have more free time (or we should!) than ever before. This can be an awesome feature of living in today's world.

However, sometimes too much time on our hands leads to over thinking, worrying or just spending too much time in our own heads. This can be an auspicious use of our freed up time, or it can serve to our detriment. If you have a little too much idle time on your hands you could find yourself depressed, lonely, or even making your own self anxious by over-thinking everything. This is never good for anyone. 

To help take the focus off yourself and your troubles may I suggest that you do for others?Plain and simple.  Do       for      others.   If you take the focus off yourself and do a sweet act of kindness for another; you will lift your spirits and someone else's at the same time. What if you suddenly decided to make baskets of homemade goodies for the three people you know who are battling cancer? What if you knitted a blanket for the girl who works at the 
corner store? How about a nice meal for the man down the road who recently lost his wife? You may ease your own anxiety or depression because you shift your focus.  

I try to do this very thing. I really don't get depressed, (anxiety is more my thing!) but I do know that it lifts my heart and fills it with joy when I do something nice and unexpected for another person. I made a bunch of earrings once to donate to women having chemotherapy. I bake for people who are struggling. One day I shall volunteer at the Veteran's hospital and read to patients. I have been the recipient of amazing gifts when I have been at my lowest and they were a blessing! 

If you practice taking the focus off of yourself, you will reap the fruits of your labors by being filled with joy and there is nothing more pure than that. Think of someone else today and not yourself. What can you do for them?

Take Good Care Today.

Practical Guide to Getting Things Done

If you struggle with the desire and the time to accomplish household chores, I have some tried and true tactics to help you. I often lack a long period of time or the drive to clean house, but I can't live in a messy, dirty home. Here's what I do:

If you chunk out chores and do them on a rotation basis, you are lessening the burden, spreading the work out and making the chores more palatable. When Saturday morning comes around, I pull out the vacuum cleaner and cleaning products. Then I get some coffee and watch the news. After about a half an hour, I get up and clean one thing. When I am done that one thing, I check emails and such and then I get up and do another chore. Sporadically, throughout the period of an hour or two, I manage to accomplish chores and some 'fun' tasks as well.

During the work week, I try very hard to keep up with chores by always putting items away after I use them, hanging clothes right back up after I wear them, etc. I try to do dishes as they get dirty, wash a window when I see a spot, throw a load of laundry in ...all on the fly. This seems to work well and then I have plenty of time for resting in between these little work events.

A long time ago I read about this little 'chunk the work' idea and it has served me very well. I use it at my 'real' job as well. I will make little 'piles' of work on my desk and attend to them as I go. One pile down-on to the next. 

 I also use lists to no end. If I did not use a list, I would be lost. I view lists as part of the chore, like the first step. I put the chore on the list and if I don't happen to get it done that day, it goes to the next day's list...right on the top. This way, I am not feeling defeated because I didn't accomplish it; I merely haven't completed it...YET. Very satisfying if you are a list person.

Life needs to be lived and enjoyed! However, I haven't figured out how to live life without taking care of those darn chores! I hope these ideas help you get the chores done and open up more free time for you!

Take Good Care Today!

On Your Heart

There are times we skate through day upon day and do not really delve deep into thoughts and feelings. There are times when we don't stop to listen to what is happening to those around us. We pay no attention to ourselves and where we are going or what we are trying to achieve. We don't listen to our hearts.
But, then there are days upon days when we do. Lately here are some of the things my heart is saying to me:
Live a little better and appreciate a little more. I was overhearing two old ladies in the grocery store while I was searching for a dessert idea in aisle three. One was talking about how her dog wouldn't behave right since her husband passed. Their conversation went on to health insurance costs. I saw myself in future years and felt a pang of fear amid my concern for these two women.
Appreciate every aspect of beauty in everyone, including yourself. Time and time again I am reminded that beauty is only skin deep. We put way too much stock in outward appearance and miss the inner beauty of the people around us and ourselves. A person is only as beautiful as her heart. If we don't look through the outer shell, we will miss the inner gorgeousness. There are many, many people who 'look' perfect and beautiful but their insides are yucky. Don't miss the inside of those around you.
Be glad for rules. We recently made a written budget and we are sticking to it with fervor. This feels good because when money controls you, instead of you controlling it, you find you have less. I am glad for the rules and structure that a budget gives. There is comfort in some rules.
Laugh more. Sitting around a dinner table with friends and laughing over little jokes is one of the most cathartic situations we can put ourselves. We should experience these to enhance the chance of laughing. It is good for us. Nothing has to be terribly funny. If you get a bunch of people together from different walks of life...there will be laughing!
Love your mother more. I watched mother and daughter sit together at a dinner party and was overjoyed at their compatibility and joyful interactions. It warmed my heart to see how close they were. I was touched that the daughter would spend this quality time with her mother. I was envious and thrilled. I know I won't have my mother forever. We should love our mother's more.
Stay connected to dear ones. Reconnecting with a dear friend is special. We let too much time pass by between those connections. It is always life-affirming when I get a chance to rekindle a friendship. I become lazy and/or too focused on my living-room couch and I don't get out there and visit! We must share our lives with others. It is an integral part of living well.
Listen to your heart this week. What is it saying to you? What lessons might you miss if you don't?

Take Good Care Today.

Ground Hog Day

Have you seen this popular Bill Murray movie? He wakes up every morning and lives the day over and over? The EXACT same day. What he doesn't get right one day, he can relive and redo the very next day.

We all have days gone by that we WISH with all our might we could do over again. Maybe not the entire day, but moments in the day. We have had days when we don't do our best and things fall apart around us. We've also all had days when we DO our best and things still fall apart around us. There is a reason for this...we can't control everything. In fact, we can control literally nothing outside of ourselves in the moment we are in.

It was a hot afternoon last summer when I was in a small circle of women listening to a woman counselor speak to us about what we can control in life. I had a bit of an epiphany that day. She asked us what we could control and many of us thought we could at least control what lay ahead of us. But, as she began to talk to us, I came to see that we can't really control anything other than this second of our lives. We all realize we can't change the past as it is beyond our reach.  Additionally,  we have no idea what is ahead of us in the future. We can PLAN for our futures, but as Robert Burns' poems states, “The best laid schemes o' mice an' men oft go awry,” we can't control them. Oh how I wish we could! We can affect some moments of the future. Lord knows we shouldn't stop preparing for the future. However, I am here to tell you, you CANNOT control it.

Living in the now and being fully present is sometimes difficult. We have to remind ourselves all the time that this is the only real second we have right this very....now. As morbid as it may seem, we could...any of us...at any moment...drop dead. I mean, we hear about instances like this all the time.

This is confirmation that we should take our lives right now and live them well. Analyze your life right now. Are you fully engaged and living it? Are you enjoying the point you have reached in age, maturity, knowledge, wisdom, family, friends, work, body management? If not, PLAN to change some things in your life...but do so by STARTING NOW. There is no LATER. Make one step forward this minute.

It is healthy and smart to look to the future with an optimism and a hope. It is perfectly sound to do so. It would not be intelligent to not plan where you want to go in life and what you would like to possess and achieve. But, my dear one, do not miss the NOW.




Take good care today.