That Girl You Once Were

“The more you know with clarity who you are the less vulnerable you are to what other people say and think about you. And the most important relationship you are ever going to have in your life is the one you have with yourself.” Dr. Phil McGraw 


These were the words Dr. Phil gave to a woman the other day on his television show. I could not think of better words to encourage a woman to believe in herself and nurture that belief through self-love.

Sometimes I think I am more and more like I was when I was 11 years old. Those were the days I wandered through Vermont fields, seeing where the cow paths would take me on my step-dad's 1000 acre dairy farm. I held a copy of Robert Frost's, North of Boston poetry and some writing materials of my own. I would find little spots to sit and look out upon the world letting nature and one of nature's finest writers, inspire me.

This was the time period in my life when I was incredibly impressionable and 'Jane' was being built. I admired women who wore jewels and pretty clothes, I baked eccentric desserts like 'Baked Alaska' and hosted dinner parties for my family serving 'Crepe Suzette.' I coerced my twin brothers to come to 'summer school' (aka: Daytime Playtime) and learn to tie their shoes and write their names. I twirled and danced and laughed and played. I read books like, To Kill a Mockingbird and Mutiny on the Bounty without being instructed. My imagination was at its most thrilling!

But—the world of judgment crept in and it wasn't long before I was no longer that girl but a chubby middle schooler who was very sensitive and afraid. I let others' judgments tear me down and it was a long time before I found myself again. Little by little over the years, that 11 year-old has resurfaced and pieced herself back together. Sometimes, I feel close to her. I feel her presence and I recognize that I am still her.  In fact, I am HER personified.

I know you are thinking of that girl you once were. She makes you smile doesn't she? Is she in there somewhere? I would encourage you to write down some of the things that you used to love that formed you into who you are now. List those early inspirations and reconnect with them. I can almost guarantee they remained inside of you all these years and want to come out of the dark and be part of you again.

You are YOU and there is no one like you. You should love that woman you see in the mirror and know her well. No one else's opinion matters nearly as much as that girl's. Befriend her. Smile at her. Hold her hand and tell her that she is FINE! She will never leave you. (And might I suggest a little Robert Frost now and again?)


Take Good Care Today.