You Are What You Think!

If you have lived your life being self-critical as much as I have...well, first of all, I am sorry. I have lived much of my life in that critical head-space and I just can't waste another moment in that place. If you are self-critical as well, please take a step back and rethink how you speak to yourself and the words you use. When it comes to myself, I could find fault in just about any situation at any moment. I've second-guessed myself more times than I could name. But, this is something I've learned to steer away from, and I'd encourage you to do so as well.

We are put on this earth to live full lives --to dream and dance and love and play. We are given bodies in which to travel. These bodies deteriorate over time. We try to make a difference. We attempt to change the world. We want to make strong connections. We'd like to think we bring some happiness and joy to mankind. But, really, other than that...there is little else. So, why, I ask you, do we spend one moment tearing anyone apart-- least of all our own selves?

I've been blessed in my lifetime to have received an enormous amount of compliments. I wish I had a dollar for every one! Do I remember those lovely comments others have taken the time to speak to me? No. Sadly, I remember very few. However, I DO remember negative things said to me. I keep those fresh in my memory and don't recall a single compliment! I am sure this is human nature, but wouldn't it be nice if it were the other way around? For me, I have to work at turning it 180 degrees.

Then there is my own inner voice. Here are some of the things I've said to myself: “ You're not as good as that person is. You are starting to get a chicken neck. Your hands look old. You are fat and jiggly. You aren't intellectual. You are selfish.” Aren't those just the sweetest words you've ever heard? NO! They are not.

It tends to be more difficult to tell yourself the kinder words: “You're just as good as anyone else in the world! You look so good for your age! You have very caring hands that are so talented. You are smart and full of knowledge. You give so much to the world.” Much better.

Whatever you seem to tell yourself, you see, does matter. You are what you think you are. It is your reality, your dream. If you think you are the most amazing woman on the planet, then for all intents and purposes, you simply are. Everything is relative my friend. BE that woman. BE the most AMAZING woman on the planet. BE the loveliest, most giving, kindest, sweetest, most gentle, caring, beautiful woman in the world. It is YOUR WORLD. You make it up.

Tell yourself who you want to be and POOF, magically you are she!


Take Good Care Today!

Horton Hears a... WHO?

Do you fear that you will leave this earth and no one will have ever really heard you? Just like the little WHOs who live in on the dust speck, we want to be heard! We Are Here, We Are Here, We Are Here!

You are here dear friend and if people are not hearing you, make yourself be heard. If you've stated your piece and feel unheard, state it again! If you feel that people take advantage of you and walk all over you, don't let it happen. Stand firm and BE HEARD!  Stand on the table!  Bounce off the walls...BE HEARD!

You are soooooo JUST as important as any one else and you deserve to have your voice heard. Do not be part of a relationship in which you suffer in silence. Your word is necessary and valid. You are strong and have your own thoughts and opinions. Stand straight up and be WHO you are...do not bend over backwards to please another....look them in the eyes and open up your vocal cords.

I lived for awhile squelching what I wanted to say to please another. I took the back seat and let them lead. I stayed quiet and did things in a meek way so as to keep the peace. I know what it's like to be pushed around and told my voice, my words, my wisdom, my offerings were not valid. I lived that life.

But, friend, you've got to know...it was wrong. It is not right to be treated this way. Don't let another take away your vociferocity! You go for it! Talk all you want! Talk about what you want! Say it! Call it by name! Give it a name! Change the name! It's your life. Live it, scream it, be heard!

Take Good Care Today!

Fear-Based Life vs. Joy-Based Life

Fear will crush you. Fear is debilitating. It is probably the MOST detrimental emotion there is. There may be times a healthy fear is good for you, like fear of going out in a lightening storm or fear of walking down a dark ally...but really – even then – you hold that fear for a moment and then make intelligent decisions past that fear.

There are fear-based people and joy-based people. There are times in your life you are fear- based and times when you grow through that and learn to find joy. We get hit with some issues, at different points, that wear us down and fear emerges. A lot of times we're born into fear and we know no other way. Whatever the cause, it is no way to live. We must find a path through living in fear and grab that victorious life of joy.

It isn't always easy. In fact, it just isn't easy at all. We learn to like our fear, it is our comfort, our 'way'. We have told ourselves stories for so long that those stories are what we know so well and we can't imagine a life beyond. Fear has 'worked' for us for years and we don't know how we'd do in other situations. We are afraid to let go of fear.

Listen, I hear you. I get it! I've been there. I was born into fear and it took literally YEARS of learning a new way to get out of it. I made it, though! I have lived in joy for a good many years and it is wonderful! We need to make new stories for ourselves. YES! Stories! Tell yourself something different! Challenge the way you've always thought! If you've told yourself you're useless for years, look in that mirror and start telling yourself how useful you are! If you've thought you were ugly for years, look at yourself again with new eyes and find that beauty! You are the stories you tell yourself. Break through fear and locate that joy center. You'll never want to go back. These are your choices in life. Yours alone.

“There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” FDR


Take Good Care Today.

Never Stop Trying

Never Stop Trying

Sometimes I want to. There are days I can't try at all and have to give in to whatever comes my way. There are days I can't control what I eat. There are days I can't control my emotions. I simply have lost all energy for trying and my give-a-damn has broken. Whatever comes my way consumes me and I consume it.

I don't like these days. I know it is not realistic to think we're never going to have a day like this. We do. It may not be an entire day, but portions of these days come along and then I am upset with myself and the ball begins rolling down the isle of self-judgment...and not the good kind. Once it begins in this direction—it becomes more difficult for me to realign myself and balance out again.

When this does happen to me, I have noticed there are a few steps I can take to restart myself on a good path. I can get up and take a shower which symbolically washes away the badness I've gotten myself into. I can down a bunch of water which has a cleansing effect on my body. I can get outside and burn off some energy and breathe in some freshness. So far today, I've done two of these three and now I'm lying in the sunshine writing this. I guess I should say sunshine helps and so does writing!

One thing to keep in mind when you are having a case of the grumpies is that you have nothing to really complain about. Look in the mirror. Do you have a horrible facial deformity? No. There are people who do. Is there a roof over your head? Yes. There are heads with no roofs. Speak peace to yourself and tell yourself that you have nothing to whine about. There's not a thing to be grumpy about. So, frankly, cut the crap.

Life's too lovely to be grumpy. Our days here are too short to give in to too much whining. Restart yourself as soon as you possibly can and don't let the grumpies get you. You control life. It doesn't control you.

Try again.


Take Good Care Today.

Life Doesn't Fit in a Box

I've tried to make life fit in a box before. For years I tried to do this. I had expectations and by God I wanted those expectations met. Most of the expectations were on myself, but I also had certain things I expected from the world. I wanted every trouble solved, every argument smoothed over, each debt paid. I lived for 30+ years hoping and praying and striving to have absolutely no regrets in life. Guess what? Nada. Nope. Not happening.


Despite my every effort for perfection and to have every expectation magically met, this did not happen. I used to pray my heart out for life situations to heal over. I spent hours on my knees, literally- robustly in prayer for diverse issues. It is not that I feel that my efforts were in vain-I believe prayer and meditation are healthy and an integral part of a healthy spiritual life. However, I was trying to fit my life in box and that was not happening then and it is not happening now.


Life is messy. You will have regrets. You will mess up and make mistakes. Relationships will crumble despite your every effort to keep them healthy and strong. People will get sick and die. You will experience a job loss, an illness, a fire, something....You will come home to a mess, a dog puke, a fallen down Christmas tree, a door blown open in the middle of winter … (almost all have happened to me!)


If we remember that no one's life fits into a box it helps. No one gets an easy ride. It may seem so at times, but we simply don't know every aspect of another's life. If we keep in mind that the rains fall on each of us, we walk with a little more grace through the tough times. We are able to put into perspective those events that try to throw us off course. Expect life to be messy. You can't always clean it up. Often, even if you call the hazmat team...there will still be contamination. You can't help it. Live on, my friend.

Cut down the edges of the box and let life dribble over. This is truly living.



Take Good Care Today.

I Before E: Intelligence Before Emotion

This is something my mother used to say to me when I was having debilitating anxiety as a young adult. New situations used to be very hard for me. Being away from home was a struggle. Going to college at 17 was a tremendous anxiety producing event in my life. There were reasons for my anxiety, and it ALWAYS helped me to remember my mother's words.

Our emotions are tricky. They like to rely on patterns sometimes. They revert to this easy path that involves the heart and they tug and tug. They like to sit in our center and stir up the juices until we cannot function. Face it, they'll say anything to get their way and often to our detriment.

Our intelligence knows the facts. It can look around where we are and say, “There is no immediate danger. There is nothing here that is going to hurt you.”  Say you are entering a room full of people you may not know and you begin to feel that inner anxiety pull at you. It is making you feel several things at once and none of them feels good! Please try to realize this is the time to switch to intelligence and leave emotion behind. Your intelligence tells you that these are people, too.  Just people.  

I once worked in an office where I was all alone all day answering phones. That was literally it. I was anxious every day. I was sick to my stomach and suffered much. I was very young and was learning to put I before E. It was very hard work back then. Eventually, I brought a cookbook to work with me and I would study it between answering the phones. It brought me comfort, reminded me of home and allowed my heart to calm down. This gave me moments of serenity that allowed time enough for me to put my "I" first.  All was well.  I was doing a job.  I may not have liked it, but it was a job for a time.  I could do this.  

These days, I don't get anxious as much. It takes a big event to trigger anxiety....usually. However, I am able to put Intelligence before Emotion much more quickly. If I walk into a room full of people I don't know now, I ask my Intelligence for help. Not my Emotion. Emotion will scare me. It will say scary words to me because it relies on unstable memories and often false thoughts. My Intelligence detaches from it all, looks around with smart eyeballs and assesses the situation. People, faces, lives, insecurities, troubles, strengths....that is what is in the room facing me....NOT oh my god who are they how do I fit do I look okay will they think I am not smart what are they thinking I don't like this I want to leave right now....!


Use your Intelligence before Emotion. It is the SMART way to live.


Thanks, Mom.


Take Good Care Today.

You're Just As Good As Anyone Else

Don't ever feel that you are not as good as anyone else. I spent far too many years thinking this way. It can cripple a person, strip them of any sense of self worth and negate any achievement. Always know that we are all on the same level. We all hail from the same place and will return to such. No one has one thing over you and you have nothing over another. We are equals.


Our egos are interesting. They can inflate or deflate. If we are the type of person who feels superior, our egos are inflated. We think the world owes us something and we possess something that no other could ever possibly offer. If we often feel inferior, we suffer from deflated ego-our ego is lying on the floor among our torn off clothing as we stand naked against the world – vulnerability exposed. There is a healthy balance and it begins in your heart.

When you know in your heart that humans are fallible and lovable at the same time, you realize you are among this very group made from the same pieces of fiber. Others will, at times, look so amazing to you and you may feel a twinge of jealously and think you are less. Let this not be so. Realize that everyone shines at different moments in their days. You will have opportunities to shine as well... Keep your ego at an even level and remember we are all on this earth to live the same existence in various ways.

You are no less than another. Your strengths are strong! Your weaknesses mold you and teach you. Each one of us suffers at times. Each one rises to that peak of near perfection at times. We share the human condition. It is ours together. There is no 'I' in this world, we are all 'one' and we are all 'equal' though not the same.

Please keep this in mind the next time you walk into a room of people filled with those with whom you are not familiar. Hold you head up high and offer yourself to the world. This is it, folks! Don't wait another minute to believe in yourself and begin to put faith in YOU! You are pretty darn good the way you are. You are a beautiful, breathing babe!


Take Good Care Today!

EAT CLEAN!

Nourishment comes to a woman in many forms. My heart needs relationships to be nourished. My mind needs good literature, poetry, stimulating conversation, humorous banter, etc. – to get its fancy feast. My body, however, needs CLEAN FOOD. My friend, so does yours.

Clean eating is not a new way to it. It is a 21^st century term for basic eating, really. It refers to an all natural-not processed eating plan that fully nourishes the human being. It does not have any elements that cause inflammation in the body, but fully feeds it naturally and healthfully.

Clean eating is really the only way one should consider to take in their nutrients. I am not on a soap box about this-just stating the facts. Real food is only one thing - and that is Real Food. Processed foods with additives and nastinesses in them will do for your body exactly what they promise....give you a body full of additives and nastiness.


You know I am right. You've read Dr. Oz, or Dr. Weil, or Dr. Ornish. You've leafed through Prevention Magazine or some other magazine devoted to giving you the correct information. You even know how you feel after you've taken your sustenance from a fast food restaurant or eaten fare from a truck that delivers frozen things to your door.


I want to encourage you today to get away from junk. Yes, you will have withdrawals. Yes, you'll crave a late night chip. But, this will only happen for a little while. You will soon crave a healthy smoothie, a bulgar burger, a plate full of veggies. Your body will purr and your mind will clear, I promise. I totally promise. You will add years to your life. Do it. Eat Clean.

Here's my morning smoothie recipe:

1 cup strawberries
1 cup blueberries
1 T chia seeds
1 scoop whey protein powder
1 T Stevia (good for you sweetener)
1 T almond butter
3 ice cubes
2 cups of water


Let me know if you like it! I perfected it and drink it almost every day for breakfast!

Take Good Care Today!

The Weight of the World

There are times when my heart just aches. I get into this zone where I can't bear the pains I see around me and I lose it. I apply all of the world's woes to my shoulders and buckle underneath the weight. Tears run down my face as I weep for one thing or another because I am sorrowful and heartbroken for someone else.

I am affected easily and by much. A student who is struggling due to a hard homelife will bring me to tears. The distraught friend who is losing her father breaks my heart. The anniversary of the death of the young brother of my good bosom buddy crushes me. I lose it over a family member who has anxiety, possible cancer diagnoses from another...


This on top of all that is happening in the world...beheadings, natural disasters, starvation, crime of all sorts. On and on the list goes and my heart churns and my head aches and I feel distressed and forlorn. It is almost impossible to see the light out of it all.

But, the light comes. I realize that in a way it is good that my heart is tender and I care so much. I am glad I was made this way. It is called compassion. I was served a heavy dose of it when my DNA was put together and I know it is my best and my worst quality. I also know I am not alone. You may be this way as well. Perhaps you are a person who carries the weights of the world on your shoulders like I do. If so, take heart.


If you do get yourself in these situations, I encourage to feel those feelings, do what they prompt you to do to help ease any of these issues, then close your eyes and breathe them away. With each breath blow these pains to the winds. Release them to snowflakes and sun-rays.

We cannot function under duress all the time. We are not equipped to change the course of events in the world by ourselves. But, we are designed to care and care deeply. Do so, but do not let it consume you, because it WILL consume you. I am sure even Mother Theresa had to take a break from it all once in awhile.

The world needs those of us who care so much. :)


Take Good Care Today.

Take a Front Row Seat!

Here's something weird that I do. Ever since I was a kid, when I attended an event, I sat in the front row. Now mind you, we were poor people and I don't believe there were a lot of events attended in my childhood. Perhaps this is why, as I grew up, I gravitated to the front row so as not to miss a moment of the adventure.

Thinking back, I am remembering church services, speeches, graduations, weddings, movies, talks, discussions...etc. -- all of which I prodded my way to the front to witness. Others may enjoy a seat in the back rows that allows for quick retreat if necessary. I have never been this type of person. I hunger for the front row.

This realization came to me this afternoon. I've literally always tried to sit in the front row of life. I have a hunger to push past the cheap seats (OH I wish I could afford the expensive seats) and sit as close to the edge of what is happening as possible.  I want to be INVOLVED with what is happening around me.  I want to soak up the nourishment that others have to give to me.  I want the knowledge, the wisdom, the tidbit...I want it all!

This is an interesting awareness to have come to me right smack in the middle of the day and I think I know why. It is to encourage you, dear reader, to push yourself to the front row and partake of what it has to offer. Don't miss anything you were meant to learn. Do not let one piece of vital information pass over your head because you dared not take the front row. Activate your curiosity and hear what is out there meant often just for your ears. 

 Take a front row seat at every opportunity.




Take Good Care Today.