I Before E: Intelligence Before Emotion

This is something my mother used to say to me when I was having debilitating anxiety as a young adult. New situations used to be very hard for me. Being away from home was a struggle. Going to college at 17 was a tremendous anxiety producing event in my life. There were reasons for my anxiety, and it ALWAYS helped me to remember my mother's words.

Our emotions are tricky. They like to rely on patterns sometimes. They revert to this easy path that involves the heart and they tug and tug. They like to sit in our center and stir up the juices until we cannot function. Face it, they'll say anything to get their way and often to our detriment.

Our intelligence knows the facts. It can look around where we are and say, “There is no immediate danger. There is nothing here that is going to hurt you.”  Say you are entering a room full of people you may not know and you begin to feel that inner anxiety pull at you. It is making you feel several things at once and none of them feels good! Please try to realize this is the time to switch to intelligence and leave emotion behind. Your intelligence tells you that these are people, too.  Just people.  

I once worked in an office where I was all alone all day answering phones. That was literally it. I was anxious every day. I was sick to my stomach and suffered much. I was very young and was learning to put I before E. It was very hard work back then. Eventually, I brought a cookbook to work with me and I would study it between answering the phones. It brought me comfort, reminded me of home and allowed my heart to calm down. This gave me moments of serenity that allowed time enough for me to put my "I" first.  All was well.  I was doing a job.  I may not have liked it, but it was a job for a time.  I could do this.  

These days, I don't get anxious as much. It takes a big event to trigger anxiety....usually. However, I am able to put Intelligence before Emotion much more quickly. If I walk into a room full of people I don't know now, I ask my Intelligence for help. Not my Emotion. Emotion will scare me. It will say scary words to me because it relies on unstable memories and often false thoughts. My Intelligence detaches from it all, looks around with smart eyeballs and assesses the situation. People, faces, lives, insecurities, troubles, strengths....that is what is in the room facing me....NOT oh my god who are they how do I fit do I look okay will they think I am not smart what are they thinking I don't like this I want to leave right now....!


Use your Intelligence before Emotion. It is the SMART way to live.


Thanks, Mom.


Take Good Care Today.