Time Spent.

I've always thought a day was an awesome thing.  Especially a day you had all to yourself with nothing planned and nothing in front of you.  I mean, it is a blessing and a true gift and how you will spend it is entirely of your own design and desire.  If you put too much thought into it, you will ruin your day.  If you just let it happen, you may regret that you didn't do a certain thing you had been wanting to do.  There are so many ways to spend a 'free' day that you can consume your day trying to decide what is the best way to spend it.  One must have a light heart and a clear mind when they consider how to spend a day.

Even on a work day, there is some time you get to yourself.  There is always time, here and there, to somehow replenish, rejuvenate, or relax within your day.  However, many of us don't think about our days and we let them happen. I fear we might lose some of the preciousness of life this way.  

Whether a work day or a 'free' day, we have a DAY.  It could be our last day.  It could be the first of a million more.  We don't know.  Anything could happen to us at any moment so we should always live fully, but we can't live too fully because we'd waste away our bodies and funds and have nothing to use in the future, because of course, none of us want this to be our last day...

Days.  Time.  Moments.  If we aren't careful they get filled with video games, television, dumb things that don't matter.  But then again, who am I to say that anything is dumb?  What if it were all the same and life is life and whether we fill our days with lofty readings of Emerson and Thoreau or whether we watch a Netflix series-it doesn't matter?  What if none of it mattered and it is just life and life is just what happens and time passes either way?  We live awhile and we do our best and then we don't live any more.  

Oh well, pretty deep for now.  I'm glad I thought about all that and I'm glad that this is how my mind works, but for now, I'm going to refresh my coffee and listen to the birds.  That makes me happy this minute. Later, I'll read Walden and play Zombies. What makes you happy this minute?  How will you spend your day?

Take Good Care Today.

The Fire in the Middle of the Family

According to Native American beliefs, women are the fire in the middle of the family.  We are the ones that keep the home.  We make it comforting and soft.  Women have a special touch that makes the heart of the home and keeps those who belong happy and healthy.

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule.  There are men who can do this, but not the vast majority, in my opinion.  Also, there are women who can't do this well.  But, I do agree, that for the most part, women are the fire in the middle of the family.

A house is four walls with some furniture, but each woman takes what she has and makes it as comfortable and comforting as she possibly can so that her loved ones have a retreat to return to when the day is done.  I remember when my children were little I couldn't wait for them to return from school so I could see them in the environment I had prepared for them.  I did what I could throughout the day to make their home a sanctuary for them so they would feel sheltered from whatever happened throughout their days.  

The world is a rough place.  It is important to have a place where you can forget the world- where the world is your immediate surroundings and those surroundings are the very things that bring you the most joy so that you can re-energize for the following days.  If we didn't break away and return to that 'fire' we would lose stamina fast.

I find that if I go away on vacation for a long while (over a week, say) I begin to lose my bearings.  My spirit knows when it's not around its fire.  The longer we stay away from our fires, the more we lose ourselves.  There is no place like home.

Enjoy being the fire in the middle of your family.  They need you more than you know.  Make that fire bright and shiny so those whom you love are rekindled and refreshed!  You, too, benefit from your fire. Your benefit is two-fold.  You get the joy of being the fire-keeper and giving to others through that and you benefit from the warmth of the fire.  Enjoy your fire.

Take Good Care Today. 

It's None of Your Business

The Toltec religion teaches that we each live our own dream.  We experience what we experience, we perceive what we each perceive and we interpret on an individual basis.  No two of us are exactly the same and the experiences we go through are never identical.  We think one way about something while another thinks entirely differently about the same something.  Our 'dreams' are indicative to our own lives and no two are exact.  

Sometimes we think we know what other people are thinking.  How brilliant of us!  We think we can read minds.  In actuality, we cannot read another person's thoughts. (I have no idea how mentalists perform those tricks...) We are not blessed with that superior feature of being able to telepathically communicate, at least not as a large population.  There may be one or two people who have some phenomenal skill that no one can explain, but that aside...  I have been very, very  guilty of thinking I 'know' what another is thinking about me.  It has been one of my worst habits.  I am incredibly self-conscious sometimes and I NEVER think another is thinking good of me.  

Most often I make up crazy stories about how I think others are considering my imperfect body, lack of knowledge about World War II or how poorly I tell a joke.  I wonder how many times I've been right about what they are thinking?  More importantly, I wonder how many times I've been wrong?

I read a quote yesterday that said, "What others are thinking about you is none of your business."  What an epiphany that was!  It is truly none of my business what others are thinking about me!  I love that.  I don't want it to be my business and I have no idea how and when I decided it was!  I give that up to the universe right now!  No way do I want the job any more of considering what others are thinking about me.  

If I am doing the best that I can do, each and every day, and I am living my life happily and joyfully with integrity, supporting a healthy moral set, why should I have a care in the world?  I need to care less.  Somehow I thought it was my job to care what everyone thought about me.  Well, you know what?  I can't carry that load any more.  I am me and you are you.  Those who will love us will love us and those who won't, won't.  But, if they don't....it's none of your business.  Move one.  Next?

Take Good Care Today and Mind Your Own Business.  :)

Swear Not By the Moon

Juliet tells Romeo to not swear by the moon because the moon changes all the time.  It is not constant enough to be something one would swear by.  She was right.  The moon, in all its phases, is clearly not to be trusted.  We cannot rely on the moon to guide our days, or our nights.

To me, 'swearing by' something is making a promise.  Promises are tough.  One has to be totally secure in their decision before they can make a promise that they can then swear by something to keep it.  I am not sure I have enough control over the world to make a promise that I can keep for sure, for sure.

What I do know is that I can live a life where I promise to try real hard and do my best.  It is important to me to know that I have put in a full day even if that full day is resting.  It is important to me to take care of myself and those who I love.  

I get caught up sometimes with my expectations.  I have VERY high expectations for life and always have.  I believe this comes out of having a pretty tough childhood. It wasn't until I was nine that I remember life settling down somewhat.  Up until then, I didn't have much of anything so when I got something I loved it dearly and brought it into myself.  I remember gifts I got for holidays, the bean bag chair and tape recorder.  Watches on my birthday.  I remember becoming attached to small places where I could sit alone and center myself.  But, event then, having little, I wanted something for myself, I wanted to be a person.  A wonderful person. A beautiful person.  A precious person.

What I didn't know was that I already was.  I didn't know that there was nothing I could do or 'swear by' to become that person.  I was a young girl who wrote poetry and walked miles along cow paths in the countryside.  I daydreamed and planned.  I became who I was going to be and there is little I can do to become better because I am already the best I can be.

I speak in the first person here, but only to tell you a story so you can relate it to yourself.  You are who you are.  Whatever that is, it is the best.  It is already within you and you don't need to 'improve' or 'swear by' anything to get or be better.  Rest assured that all you are is already in there--inside of you and you have it to show the world whenever you want to.  Or not.

Take Good Care Today.

Time

Time is a mystery isn't it?  There are times in our lives when we don't have a second to catch our breath because life is so busy.  Then there are times when we have so much time on our hands we don't know what to do with ourselves!  Time presses on no matter.  Whether we fill our moments with a ton of events or we just let time happen and watch it evaporate...either way...it dissipates.

I feel like I spend a lot of TIME thinking about how to spend my time.  I don't like wasted time.  That is, I like to know I've accomplished things that need to be done before I waste time.  It feels good, after having worked hard, to waste a little time doing nothing much.  When I work all day, I look forward to the couch because that is one of my places where I do virtually nothing.

I also don't like others to waste my time.  My time is precious.  I want to be treated with the respect that any human deserves when it comes to my time.  I enjoy my time even if I am doing nothing spectacular with it, so if you bother me, you better have a reason.  I don't mean to say I'm unfriendly, I just mean, I don't want my time wasted.  I want the common courtesy of not having my time wasted.

I also want to be paid for my time.  If I am performing a job that is in my professional field and you are not my best friend, you're going to have to pay me for my work.  That is just how it rolls.  I wouldn't expect you to perform a job for me without paying you, because that is how you make your living.  I want to support people who need to make a living, and frankly, that's all of us.  I don't want to take advantage of someone's skill set.  That said, I don't mind trading time with others.

Time is a valuable commodity.  It slips away from us so easily. We spend years of our lives agonizing over the menial and frivolous when in reality, there is not enough time for that. We put our blood, sweat, tears and time into things that really are of no consequence...maybe that's a good thing?  Maybe it's just a thing. We have no idea how much time we have, yet sometimes we spend it like it's dispensable.  Perhaps it is.  We'll never know.

Think about time today.  How will you spend it?  Are you wasting your time?  If you are, I hope you are having a blast doing so!

Take Good Care Today.

You Create Your Own Reality

I am working on not being an emotionally run person.  I've been working on this for as long as I've known what emotions were.  When I was younger, however, I didn't know emotions could be controlled by me.  I didn't realize that not only was I NOT at the beck and call of my emotions--I had created them!  I just didn't know these insights.

I know them now.  This does not by any means mean that I am a whole lot better at living a life with my emotions at bay.  I wish I were.  I have found that if I am really tired, that's it, I'm done.  My emotions wreak havoc on my worn-down self.  But, even knowing this has been a benefit.  My husband recently lost his mother and he has noticed that when he is tired, he can't handle things well.  Unfortunately, when we are not handling things well, we get even more tired and this can be a vicious circle.  But, we live and learn.

Emotions like to be felt and they like to be heard.  That is the nature of what an emotion is.  We have to come to the realization that WE are NOT our EMOTIONS.  We feel emotions.  We do not exist as an emotion.  Knowing this, we should be able to live our lives in better form.  We should remind ourselves daily that the feelings we feel have been created by the stories we tell ourselves.  Sometimes those stories are not based in reality.  Our reality is what we make it.  It is what we think it is.

Try to view the world today.  Watch it but don't get pulled into the emotional side of it.  Feel, but don't react.  You may discover you've had a much better day.  Don't tell yourself any stories about today.  Just live it.  I'm going to try this, too.  You are not alone!  Here's hoping we both do well!

Take Good Care Today!

It's The Little Things

Robin's Song

Not long

Robin's song,

Bring joy to my soul.

Happiness rises

new disguises

o'er pain.

Pull from me

don't let me be

No good without you.

There's serenity

your voice to me

wash away the world.

If there were none

You'd be the one

Robin, your song.

Get Out of Your Head!

How much time do you spend obsessing and worrying?  WASTED!  ALL WASTED.  Trust me, this post is for me as much as it is for anyone else who does the same thing I do.  Let's get out of our own heads!

Ego.  I read about ego.  I listen to audio books that teach about ego.  I know ego is something I want to diminish so that I can live free and serve the world with all I have.  I don't mean self-esteem when I say ego...I mean that side of ego that looks for approval, that needs to fit in, that cares what others think.  Drop that side....do what you can.  Educate yourself about what that part of your ego is...and then put into practice all that you learn.

You see, just because I am aware of my ego and it's endless picking at me, I don't seem to ever have the stamina to keep it at bay long term.  I think this might be because I am tired, too busy and I don't pay attention.  All of these reasons keep me in constant turmoil and pain.  If I would do the work, apply the knowledge, I would live a freer life, and the same goes for you.

People give me advice all the time about how to live a freer life, one that has less ego.  I hear it.  I listen.  I even try to apply other's ideas to my life.  But, somehow, emotion takes over.  I have lived on emotion a good deal of my life and  (okay, all of it) and it is hard to let that go.  I am emotional.  This is both my strong point and my weak point.

My mom and I were discussing this last week.  She listened to what I had to say and then told me she was the same exact way.  I knew this already.  I also know my daughter is the same way I am.  The three of us are passionate, emotional people.  My mother is THE most compassionate person in the world.  She is sweet and patient.  Kind and calm.  If you ever need a person to comfort you, it is she. My daughter is a whirling dervish of talent.  She is an actress, a dancer, a singer and quite funny.  She is a performer.  I am a combination of both.  I am very compassionate and loving, and I am a performer.  Emotion is strong in we three.

But, it is to our detriment as well.  We are so emotional that we end up fighting it because it can be embarrassing.  For me, it is so embarrassing that I berate myself and fight myself and wish I could be different.  This is where ego comes in.

If I deny my ego the voice and power to put  myself down and just be myself....emotion and all....what harm would there be in that?  No judgment.  Just life.  What do you think?  Would this work?  Would it work for you as well?

Take Good Care Today.

Demands of Life

We, as a society, work too much. We just do.  We work 5 days a week, quite often overtime.  We are pushed and pulled and maxed out.  All my life, I have never felt like I could keep up with a 5 day work week.  It has always stressed my body out.  It is no wonder that people struggle so much with issues like sleeping well, or keeping fit.  There is no time.  How can you eat right when you have no time to shop or prepare?  How can you get enough sleep if you have to tend to house cleaning or finally have two seconds to read at the end of the day?  We simply push ourselves too hard.

When the days get longer in the summer, I like to try to experience all I can of the daylight.  We get so little of it in the winter.  It thrills my soul to be outside, to be in the air and the light.  I want all I can get.  But, even that is tiring after a long day of work.  I am a firm believer that we need to take our work very seriously and give it all we have-- but then we must leave it be.

People are asked to give too much to their work.  I don't know if employers are trying to get more for their money; I am not sure.  I don't like to be asked to work for free.  I don't think it is fair.  I have put myself through 8 years of college and it cost me a lot of money.  Is it fair to use my expertise for free?  I think not.  Not for me, and not for you.  If you want me, pay for me.  That's fair, isn't it?  Do I sound pompous for asking that?  I think not.  I am only one person, I can't be spread so thin for nothing!

We need to pick and choose what saps our energies because things WILL steal from us and then we are left with nothing for ourselves.  That is no way to live.  Be very careful where you give your time and energy...because there is only so much to go around...and it isn't right that you are left with none for yourself.

Take Good Care Today.

Home Alone

I love being home alone.  I can do my thing at my pace.  I can sit where I want and leave messes if I feel like it.  I don't have the pressure of going anywhere or dressing a certain way.  I don't have to put makeup on or do my hair.  If you came by my house unannounced you would find me in comfy, over-sized clothing with my hair in twist on top of my head.  I would be in the middle of lazing around and reading or some house project.

But, I am never really alone.  I have these two huge dogs who are constant companions.  I have never lived without a dog, at least intentionally, or for long.  There have been times between deaths of animals that I have been without a canine, but truly not for long.  You see, I need the companionship.  I love knowing someone else is around to just 'be' with me.  I hear their breathing while I write this now.  It calms me and comforts me.  I could not live without companionship.  I do not want to.

Yes, animals are hard work.  Yes, they ruin things and make your house a little dustier (a lot), and hairier.  They steal your cookie or puke in the middle of the night, but I don't care.  I love them.  I need them.

It isn't loneliness, per se, that brings me to owning an animal, and yet perhaps it is.  I LIKE to be alone, I enjoy it.  But, it isn't human companionship that I always need.  I love people and need, want to be around them, but there are times I've had enough of people.  I need myself, alone, with my dogs.
It is my happy place.

How about you?  Do you have things that bring you that inner comfort?  If you haven't tried owning a pet, I suggest you give it a shot for there is nothing like it.  A spotless home, though I admire one, doesn't compare to the love of an animal...

Take Good Care Today.

No Pain No Gain

When you're a child you don't know.  You have no idea why things happen the way they do and often you don't think to question how or why because it might not occur to you to do so.  Why would it?  Does a caterpillar question why it makes a cocoon?   When you are little you rely on the world to make decisions for you.  You are not capable of deciding for yourself, protecting yourself or guiding where you go.  You need protection and help.

Childhood is a time in our lives where many of us received hurts that have been with us our entire lives.  We are the products of families where there has been divorce, violence, poverty, neglect.  In these cases we had to learn, from childhood, to find a way to fend for ourselves in order to survive.  Many of us are able to rise out and make better lives for ourselves, but others wallow in the same misery forever.  Either way, the pain is still there.  

Some people learn to become people who can fit into the norms of life quite naturally and deal with events well, roll with things and keep it together.  Others can not.  Some people conform to an ideal in order to cope, put up with unrealistic inner parameters, or just get depressed.  Others turn to substances to help them deal.  Whatever our childhoods, we have turned into adults who have had to find a way to press on and live.  We want happiness and joy and we do what needs to be done to experience that.  

However, hurts can remain embedded within us and have helped to form who we are.  This is not always a bad thing!  Hurt can be used to inspire and mold.  It can drive people to become amazing humans who accomplish wonderful feats.  But deep inside, there might always be some pain.  That is okay.  It is okay to have pain inside.  It is what makes us human.  We learn to live life with some hurt because there is no way to not do so.  We learn to take that hurt and have compassion for others.  There are many folks who do not have compassion.  If you are a woman who has suffered and has a down day once in awhile, count your blessings that you have felt on every level from the wondrous highs to the painful lows.  This has molded you and made you a unique gift to the world.  You have much to share with  and much to be for the world.

Let your pain teach you help you be the special woman you were meant to be.

Take Good Care Today.  

Be The Ball

If you've seen the movie, Caddy Shack, then you remember the scene where Chevy Chase is teaching his caddie to 'be the ball'.  The caddie is looking for direction and seeking advice from Chevy Chase (not recommended).  But, the advice, in this case, is not all bad.  Sometimes we are in situations in our lives when we can't envision what our next moves are.  We know we are in a place where we are unhappy but we don't know how to fix our situations.  This is a good time to 'be the ball' and heed Chevy Chase's advice.

Sometimes it is not physical situations that need to change, but our insides.  We don't know how to get to that 'person' we see in our minds that we want to be.  There is a woman there, ahead of us, we see her, we notice what she's wearing, we like her hair, her posture, her words.  We know she is us.  I know she is me.  But, I can't always reach her.  I get close.  There are moments in some days when I am almost her.   But, I can not say I have ever reached her fully.  Why is she so hard to reach?  Why can't I get there?  Why am I not her?

The truth is. if we want to be that woman we know we are capable of being, we must envision her and then simply 'be her'.  We must, 'be the ball'.  We must keep our eyes on her and our mouths must be under her control.  Our every move must be focused.  We must first think before we act so that we can train ourselves to be the ball.  We must pretend we are the ball until we fully are the ball.  Keeping our eyes on the ball will help us become one with it.

This metaphor is a good connection to make when you are feeling like that woman you so desire to be is soooooo far away and you don't know how she got there.  There are times we feel like we've lost her altogether.  She's still there, and we have to bring her back to light and then focus very hard on her.  She will, one day, become so much a part of us that, 'she is us'.  But, it takes focus and it takes practice.  We must continue to work on being the ball until we master it.

Take Good Care Today.  

Find Your Center

There can come a time when we become off-kilter.  We lose our centers sometimes from various happenings in life.  We go through experiences that knock us for a loop.  We get exhausted.  We do so much we have no time to connect with ourselves and rejuvenate. Sometimes life brings events that do this to us and sometimes we bring them on ourselves.  Either way, we get knocked off our centers just like Humpty Dumpty does the wall.

For me, right now, I am in the middle of this point of realization where I know I am off center.  I experienced a death in my family, I am overwhelmed at work, I can't get the exercise I need and my eating is whacked.  I am completely impatient with myself and feel that everything that I say or do is hugely wrong and over-sensitive or ridiculous.  That's my insecurity talking.  That's my off kilter side.  To top it all off, the sun didn't shine for days and the advent of June brought close to freezing temperatures.  

Now the question is what will I do to return to a centered human being that resembles what I desperately want to be?  Patience, time, laughter and some time alone.  Not necessarily in that order.  I know I need some time alone, running or walking or thinking.  I know I need to pull out some of my literature on ego, self and inner work.  I know I need to encourage myself to live victoriously in a world that wants to knock me down at every chance.  I know I need to stop the negative self talk and rise out.  AND...I know I need to lighten up and not take life so seriously.

Then, and only then, will my center be set right.   Then, and only then, will I feel renewed and ready to face the world again with my best self.  

I hope this helps someone today.

Take Good Care Today.

When the Rains Come

When the rains come there is nothing you can do to change it.  The weather will be what it is.  But, we don't have to let it rain inside our hearts.  We can find a way to add the sunshine into our days even if the rains want to, try to, wash it away and cloud it out.

There is the physical side of raininess which affects us.  It has a very strong pull.  We easily feel the weight of clouds and pressure.  The darkness messes with our natural rhythms.  We are easily tired, down or weary.

Then there is the emotional side of the raininess.  The dreariness can make us feel forlorn and sad.  It can take simple problems and magnify them.  There is a heaviness on our hearts when it rains.  If you don't believe me or feel it for yourself, watch a group of people when the sun finally comes out after a few days of rain.  You will see a lightness appear on each face and a collective mood swing to a higher point.

I think that if we try really hard, we can take the rainiess and dreariness and throw them aside.  It does take work.  Sometimes turning more lights on helps me.  Sometimes getting some exercise, even in the rain, can be beneficial.  We can do some healthy self-talk and remind ourselves that what we are feeling may just be the weather's influence.  You also can force a smile on your face and see what happens.  Flowers are nice to have around, or at least pictures of flowers.  Happy foods can lift your mood, too.  Try eating some fresh and bright foods.  Listen to uplifting music.  You CAN have an affect on yourself.

Rains will come.  Whether the weather brings them or life itself gets wet and muddy.  Try to lift your face to the heavens and instead of hating the rains, embrace them.  If you can't do that, then fight them with all your might and push through.

You can find the sunshine if you try hard enough.

Take Good Care Today.

When We Know Better, We Do Better

Many people go through life never changing, evolving or adjusting.  They simply say the same sayings, adhere to the same set of rules, think the same thoughts, hold to the same opinions....that they have always had...without ever challenging their beliefs.

This is a scary situation, especially when a person gets to be middle aged.  It should be high time that that person has reevaluated some of the their beliefs and changed their thinking and speech.  We should be constantly learning about life and learning how to be better people.  If we find that we have the same small and confined thoughts as we've always had, it might be time to do some intense pondering.

Over the years, I have been in contact with plenty of people who seem small inside of themselves.  They express fears and opinions that are reminiscent of a very underdeveloped mind.  When I hear someone I know well express the same words they've said for years, I wonder if they ever really think about things in a deep way.  I hate to see people not learn from their years on earth.  It is time to change our thoughts and ourselves.

Challenge the words that come out of your mouth.  Think deeply about your opinions on certain subjects.  How do you really feel and think?  What can you do to educate yourself more on a subject?  Consider that person that you've been judging one way all these years and think about life from their vantage point.  Try to understand situations in a new way.  Press yourself to change it up.  You may find that you need to do this.  You can't possibly have the same opinions you had in your 20's and 30's and even 40's.

Sometimes I've thought of something a certain way with definitive  parameters and I find out I've been wrongly thinking (or shallow)  for years!  What a sad situation.  Look inside yourself and see what needs to be rethought!  Then live your life better!

Take Good Care Today!