Divine Wisdom

Each one of us would like to think we're wise. Many of us do possess more wisdom than others. Sometimes, however, there is nothing to be done, no answer comes to mind and we must search beyond ourselves by seeking divine wisdom.

We each connect to our divine wisdom through different avenues and we cannot and must not judge how each comes to this in her personal life. However we reach for help beyond ourselves is our personal choice. The important part is that we do so on occasion.

If you reach for wisdom through prayer, meditation or some other way, a nice idea is to make a special spot in your home where you can sit quietly and connect with your divine wisdom. A big floor pillow, a comfy chair, a pretty lamp, a small table for resources...all add to your experience. I love to look out upon nature and hold up my thoughts while seeking answers. Sometimes, I spend driving time in prayer. Whatever your way is YOUR way and you have that for yourself forever.

Each human on this planet is a sacred being. We often walk on the surface of life and never dig below that level for the spiritual. It is a REAL and deep place that can fill our souls to the very brim. I, nor any one else, can express to another how to get there, or what it feels like. It is impossible to relate the inner comfort and joy one can reach by getting in touch with her spiritual side. It is so fulfilling. Many find this spot within themselves and never turn back. Others lose their way, but find it again. If you have never been to that place within your inner soul, you may want to search inside of yourself, or look to outside resources to help you on that path.

One thing I know for sure is that to not be in touch with your spirit is sad and somewhat shallow way to live. I know we cannot always reach those special levels of existence, but it is important to know you can. It is wonderful to know that you have that side of yourself, you have the know-how when it is needed. God knows, these days, we need divine wisdom more every day.

Take Good Care Today.

Family Matters

We have many choices in life. We choose our partners, we choose our occupations, where we live, what we eat...we have endless choices. With each of these choices, we have options. We can regret our choices, we can sever ties, we can change our situations, jobs, and bodies if we so desire. However, the one constant that no one can change is our families.

Children don't choose their parents. Parents don't choose their children. Aunts don't choose their nieces and neither do cousins choose cousins. We are given family by being born into them. If you believe that family ties are binding, you honor your family.

I have a LARGE Italian family. They are beautiful people. They are VERY caring and VERY sweet. There are some hotter heads than others and some grudges that haven't died down after many years. But, despite these downfalls, we love each other. Each has one or two they are closer to than another, but there are ties and these ties bind.

We don't get together often enough but when we do, we see our eyes in a cousin, our son's chin in an Uncle and our senses of humor in an 84 year-old Aunt. We visit, chat, hug and hold. Selfies are taken, stories are shared. There is sadness in one life, joy in another, and laughs shared all around. Promises to get together more often are made as bonds are renewed and members leave knowing they have a connection to a group of people somewhere in the world. A family connection.

Very little in this world is precious these days. This modern world moves too fast to appreciate the important and lasting. So much is corrupted and tainted. Family is one of the last institutions that remains at the heart of our lives. Remember to connect with those who share your heritage. You possess similar DNA and many of the same personality traits. These are your people. Blood is thicker than water.

Take Good Care Today.

Breathe Fresh Air

My mother tells the story of her death. She was an infant. It was 1936 or 37. She was quite ill and apparently died. The doctor pronounced her dead. Her eldest brother came in the room and picked her up and brought her to an open window and held her in the cold, fresh air. She revived.

I am almost sure you know what my next words will be....FRESH AIR CAN REVIVE YOU, TOO. I know there are times when we need a miracle. My mother needed a miracle and she was given one both through her brother and the fresh air she breathed. I know we have science on our side if we recount the merits of fresh air, but it is even beyond scientific. It is spiritual. We need fresh air to fill our lungs, feed our cells and give life to our bodies and minds.

I believe we do go spiritually stale. We have busy lives and we attend to immediate needs of ourselves and our families. This often leads to neglect of our health and our minds. I heard a woman on a talk show yesterday speak these words when she was diagnosed with cancer, “I don't have time for this.” Isn't that true? The poor woman was so busy participating in life that she didn't have time to care for her own body. Don't let that happen to yourself, friend. Care for yourself each and every day so that you can reduce the prospect of cancer and other illnesses. I believe we can.

Breathing in fresh air...really breathing it...for a healthy length of time is essential to our lives. It is our sustenance. It is needed above all other needs. First and foremost....we need fresh air.

Step outside today and breathe. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth and do it a lot of times! Raise your little face to the sky and let the universe see you! Whatever is on your plate today....break it up...step outside...excuse yourself....and sneak a breath! Instead of a bathroom break, take a BREATHE break. A BB! Let fresh air fill you and heal you.


Take Good Care Today.

Rise Above It

The world is suffering from a lack of joy. For some reason humans focus on the negative and do not stress the positive. The news, the talk around the water cooler...all are negative. It can be so hard to keep up your positivity when you are constantly exposed to negative vibes. Without realizing it, we can be pulled down into another's black hole of misery.


It takes a concerted effort to rise above negativity. One must put themselves out there as a fresh light to the world. As I write this, it is 5:50 on a Wednesday morning. It is cold outside and dark. Joy seems the farthest thing from my mind. I am still waking up, second cup of coffee...but still, not feeling overly joyful. However, I know soon it will be light, there is the promise of sunshine and warmer weather, and I can feel joy emerging in my heart. You must as well.


If it means pushing yourself into joy, then do it. Music helps, a good diet helps, sleep is a must! But more than that, you must dedicate yourself to finding your own joy and your happy heart. If you are struggling here are a few ideas that might help:


~Get out whatever religious text that you adhere to and read
~Move your body!
~Shower and put on something you feel beautiful in
~Plan out your day on paper....you special dinner, a walk in the sunshine
~Prepare for the weekend
~Write a love note
~Call your children or hug them if they still live with you~
~Call your mother and tell her you love her :) - or a friend
~Cuddle and kiss your dog
~Meditate
~Look in the mirror and tell yourself affirmations
~Begin a gratitude list


Joy can be made. A young girl told me yesterday that her life was ruined. I immediately tried to help her find her joy. We need to keep in mind that no thing and no one can ruin us. We survive much and emerge with joy...over and over. It is a practice. A way of life. It is inside us and exciting. We are in control and can change. If people once knew us as negative and downcast...they will relearn us as happy and positive.

They say the simple act of smiling can actually change your mood. Try it today!


Take Good Care Today!

It's Not You, It's Your Clothes

Listen ladies. If you are hung up on the sizes of clothes you wear, let it go. If we are to realize how beautifully perfect our bodies are, we need to dress them in clothing that fits, no matter the size of that clothing.

Here you are, in a store and you are trying on a piece of clothing that just doesn't fit, or doesn't look right. You immediately think it is YOUR fault that the item doesn't fit. You feel as if your body is wrong in some way because the item doesn't look good on you. Well, guess what? It isn't you. It is the clothing!

Clothing manufacturers try to make a hit when they design, but it is impossible to design a pair of jeans, per-say, that fit each and every woman the same. You may weigh the same and be the same height as another, but your bodies are shaped individually and there is no way a company can make something in mass quantity that will fit you both correctly. So, stop blaming yourself.


For example, you must try on many, many pairs of jeans to find the right one that is the best for your shape. Do not look at sizes. That is just silly. Once you know a company, you can trust their sizing and you will be a able to purchase that size a little more blindly knowing it will fit you. Some companies will create jeans specifically for you if you want that. JC Penney has a place on their website where you can take your own measurements and they will design a pair of jeans for you for about $100. Believe it or not, a good jean will cost. There is a brand called, Not Your Daughter's Jeans, that I think is great. I am thrilled that they have put a little stretch in jeans over the past decade. I was not a fan of jeans before this as I have an hour-glass shape and not many manufacturers can design a jean that has a 10 inch difference between the hips and waist! But, folks, that's the reality of a woman's body!


We do not fit into molds. We each have an individual designer body. We can't rely on companies to know our measurements. Do NOT take this personally when you go shopping. Dress yourself in clothing that fits and stop looking at tags. Many of us take away self-esteem issues when we look at tags. Keep healthy, feed your body, do your best to stay in shape and dress yourself. Have fun with clothes, let them show who you are. Don't cram into things that aren't your size and don't swim either. This is the only body you have.


Take Good Care Today.   

You Are Your Safe Place

When it comes down to the nitty gritty, YOU are your safe place. You are your best friend, your own lover, mother, sister, child. YOU are all you have in this world – REALLY. There was a time...actually...most of my life...that this scared the heck out of me. I surely couldn't be enough for myself! How could I meet ALL of my own needs? I would be nothing without those whom I love! Although there are aspects of these statements that scare me and hurt me, they actually are pretty true.


I have spent most of my life depending on others to make me whole and this cannot happen. Gosh, I am pretty sure, after a lot of introspection, I got married at 19 in order to have what I thought was security. As it turns out: no one can give you security. I am not really sure if there is true security on this earth...other than the security of being your own safe place.

You and only you, I believe, (me and only me) can be there for yourself. You are safe with yourself. You can guide yourself, love yourself and meet your own needs like no other person can. You know yourself. You 'GET' yourself. You are safe with YOU. Trust You. Be there for YOU. Take CARE of YOU. Respect yourself enough to realize that you have made it this far on this planet and you are going to be okay. Fear need not factor in. Only sensible thoughts and caring gestures need happen for yourself and to yourself. You are safe in your own arms.


When you know this and can rest in this, you suddenly appreciate others more. You adore that another has chosen to spend his life with you. You are thrilled to be around family when you have no expectations from them. You meet your own inner needs and they are off the hook.


How you meet those needs is up to you. Whether you are safe inside your own head and heart or rely on God to help you, you find your own safety. But, it involves you and only you or you and God.

You know I am not saying that others are not there for you. You get that, right? They are and will be. You are loved and others will pick you up if you fall. However, when it comes down to your inner safety, growth, security and love: YOU ARE IT, BABE! Enjoy your own self. It's a safe place.


Take Good Care Today!

Challenge How You've Always Thought

Have you been clinging to certain systems of belief for no other reason than it hasn't occurred to you to question your own way of thinking? I have and I believe it is high time we all looked inside of ourselves and took a look at our preconceived notions, evaluate them, and adjust them if necessary.

What brings me to this you ask? I am able to share with you a portion of what has brought me to this spot in life. I often will attempt to handle a situation the same way I've handled it time
after time and I always get the same result. This result is usually a temporary fix, enough to make me think my way is the correct answer in how to handle certain situations. However, this very small band-aid-of-a-fix is actually a direct miss. Oh, it hit for a minute, long enough to appear a fix, but indeed, it diverted the minute I wasn't looking, and the problem surfaces soon after.

I believe this principle can be applied to many of our issues and problems in life. We develop a system of beliefs or a mechanism for a fast fix. We live busy lives and we rather not have to delve into actually fixing issues, so we settle and settle and settle for a minute-fix...a day-fix....a month-fix. We don't realize at the time that it is this. We feel fixed. So we assume we are. However, because we haven't fully questioned our ways or our judgments, we end up back at square one. Interestingly, we are willing to be back at square one over and over and over. We'll do anything to avoid actually facing our issue and REALLY applying what it takes to fix it. We take the easy way out.

The only problem is, adding all attempts together, this is never the easy way. It ends up the long, hard, painful way. We don't take the time to truly take care of things once and for all. If we did, we'd face it no longer and be on our way to a happier, freer life.  I believe this is because we lack knowledge and know-how.  If we were equipped with these, we might make better decisions.  However, we can't do that unless we question our ways.

I wish I were not a 50 year-old-woman telling you this. I wish this occurred to me in my 20's. However, if it did, it did not stick. Help yourself today and heed my experienced words. You know you have an issue that needs a real fix and not a temporary, fake one. Take the time to learn what needs to be learned. Don't 'easy way out' of it. You'll be glad you did the work.


Take Good Care Today.

Patience is a Virtue!

This being true, I must be the most virtuous person alive. If you need to work on your patience may I suggest teaching 12-14 year olds on a daily basis? This will either take you to the funny farm or create in you a calm patience that seeps deep into your being. Some of us are pushed into patience and some come to it naturally. Others, I am sure, never quite learn the art.

I wasn't always patient. In fact, I don't think I had a lot of patience at all for years. I would have patience for some things, but not for others. My mother is a VERY patient person. But, she is not type A personality like I am. Still, as I grow, I find more patience every day.

What are we really in a rush for anyway? The sun will come up tomorrow one way or another, so what is the difference? Life will go on whether we've fit every single event into our week that we had planned. The planets will remain in orbit if we're 5 minutes late to a meeting. Seasons will continue to change while we're waiting for someone to finish her sentence or meet our expectation. Really and true, we can't force much to happen, so why not settle back and practice patience.

As an inexperienced teacher, years ago, I once told a much older colleague that I was struggling with the students' behavior and getting upset every day. I still remember her response. “Why would you do that to yourself?” she said. Why, indeed? I didn't know why. Then and there I decided I had to go to my 'Zen' place and calm the heck down. I was a MUCH happier person and a more effective teacher. Very rarely do I get worked up over something these days. I just go with the flow. I'm happy to be alive and participate in other's lives. Life is good. Life has its own pace. I can't alter that.

Be patient, my friend. It is a better way to live!

Take Good Care Today!

Put Your Best Foot Forward

Not every day is going to be something you feel like participating in. I get that. Mine are the cold, windy, dark days of winter...and it isn't the whole day, it is going out in the morning darkness or coming home in the cold darkness. If I could be teleported from one inside building to the next, I 
would be happy. But, it can often take all that I have to put it together to face a miserable day.

What I prefer is to awaken with the warm breezes of summer and the birds chirping. I adore getting up on those days! I can't stand to stay in bed! I want to join forces with the earth's energies and melt into the day on those days. Mid-winter Monday a.m.....NADA. Those are the days that I find distasteful to enter into.

However, as a family member of mine often says, “Any day above ground is a good one.” With this in mind, we have no other option but to put our best foot forward to marry ourselves to the day before us.

Putting our best foot forward takes effort but is not unrewarded. What I do is to find some fabulous clothing to spend the day in. I bring some yummy food to munch and a delicious drink or two. I try to find joy in the little things that might make the day a bit better. I listen to music that makes my heart sing, and illuminate my atmosphere with comforting lighting. Basically, I am good to myself.  I offer myself the kindness and the comfort to help jump start myself into my day.

 The day will come into itself with much more ease if you put your best foot forward. People will look at you and wonder how you manage to be positive, amazing and smart-looking all while the rest of the world is suffering from NOT putting their best foot forward. Perhaps you will encourage another to make the choice to change it up. 

 Sometimes, putting your best foot forward requires a little “fake it till you make it!”


Hope you can put that best foot forward today. You will notice the difference!


Take Good Care Today!

Love Your Peeps

Each one of us is given some people to love. These are ours. We aren't apt to break away from our people. We share our lives with them. Hopefully, we enjoy being with them. I want to remind us to LOVE them. Keep your peeps in your heart at all times and in doing so, the love you feel will come back to you, nourish and fulfill you.

Loving each one of our people may not always be easy. It often takes a concerted effort and a thorough decision backed up with closed eyes and mouth. We don't control any other person so it can be hard loving another without feeling a judgment once in awhile. But, though we are called to love these folks, we are not to run their lives. This is for them alone. Oh, we may WANT to say a word or two, but truly, it is not for us.

Of course, there are times our advice is summoned and on those occasions we may offer it. Even then we must be careful not to be too forthright with our ideas because each must choose his own path. When I am asked for advice, of course I give it--(obviously, I am full of it!)--but I try to give it in a broad sense and I try to speak from my experiences only, which is really all we each can do. I try not to assume or project anything. These are not easy to do.

When someone asks for help with a problem, we often think they are feeling the issue exactly how we would feel the issue and this is not always true. It might be, we are all a lot alike...but it is not totally this way as we all walk our own walk and have lived through very different circumstances. But, out of love we help each other.

To love others means heartache but it also means full joy. We think of each other all the time. While shopping, playing, walking-they come to mind. A tiny stone makes me think of one friend. A little earring brings my niece to mind. The sight of a little piglet makes me laugh as it is a living symbol of a friendship that has lasted a life-time. My heart is filled when I keep my family and friends near. Yes, they drive me nuts sometimes, but I love them beyond any measure and what I receive from that love is a fulfillment that can be found no where else.

Love your peeps. Give them a call. Send a little note. Write an email. Message them. They love you, too. We need the love.

Take Good Care Today.

Feel Good About Your Body

This can be a difficult task. We seem to never be satisfied with how we look. Our poor bodies take so much so much negativity from us. We are so unkind to the very vessel that gets us up and down the stairs, takes us on beautiful walks and holds our very existence. We criticize, over-exercise, over-eat, pick on, beat on, – you name it. We do it to our bodies. We just don't offer our bodies the respect they deserve.

If we could appreciate our bodies and care for them the way they require and deserve, wouldn't this be so much better? Nourishment for our bodies is scientific and precise but it isn't rocket science. Healthy eating plans are readily available. Potato Chips have never been good for the human being and I am not thinking they are ever going to be. But, we still choose them. We are lured to them by the nose and the eye and not by the need of proper nourishment.

It is the hardest thing to be kind to your body and not judge it against the standards of the world...or at least the American media. We are incredibly judgmental and we compare ourselves to what we see as the perfect model of the human female body. Truly, there is no perfect female body, except for the one you are in. Each body is perfect. We need to wake our society up and push against this perceived perfection that is stick thin and start putting our voices out there. We need to clearly protest that a woman's body is curvy and lovely. Some are thinner than others, but all are different and all are fine.

Yes, there is a point of being unhealthily overweight and each person knows where they are on scale. It is a personal choice and not subject to judgment. Let people be. Be your own woman and pay attention to your own body and no one else's. Care for it and love it and feed it what it needs. Say a hearty, “Thank You,” to it once in awhile. Pat yourself on the shoulder for getting to this point in your life. Pamper and preen. Bask in the sun. Curl up in comfy blankets. Go for long walks. Love your own body.

Take Good Care Today.

Take the Good From the Bad

Are you ever been embarrassed of yourself? Have you said something that came out wrong or was just not a good decision? I am guilty of this on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes it is nerves that makes me speak before I think, sometimes it is my exuberance for life. However it happens, one of two things can ensue. #1. I can beat the heck out of myself, worry for days, lose sleep....basically kick my own butt for a really long time. #2. I can acknowledge the fact that I said a booboo, tell myself to do better next time, and then forget it and move on.


#1. Happens a lot. I am sorry to say this. I kick my own butt for a ridiculously long time. I torture myself and create scenarios in my head. I convince myself that life as I know it is going to change for the worse. I can't be realistic and I worry, worry, worry.

What really is the sense of this worry? Will it change the fact that we've done something embarrassing? No, it will not. If this happens to you as it does me (and maybe it doesn't....but I have a feeling we're all more similar that not) please try to choose option #2. We are not perfect and our mouths do get ahead of us. It is the rare person who can always keep their mouth shut or not slip up with words. Of the thousands of words we say a day, surely some are going to come out slanted or cross-ways. We can't expect to never slip up. That is unrealistic.

I think what makes it hard is that we live in a society where everyone goes bazerk over everything! I mean people will sue someone over the slightest thing. I agree, we must be careful, but it would be nice if the world wasn't ready to jump on every misspoken word. We should try to look into a person's soul before we judge too quickly. People are basically good at heart and most often don't mean to infringe on another.

One of the Toltec Four Agreements is, “Be Impeccable With Your Word.” I try very hard to adhere to this, but I fail at times. When this happens....I try very hard to move over #1 and right into #2. I know I've screwed up and that my tongue has gone and done it again, but I try to immediately forgive myself. I am WAY too hard on myself. I know I am a loving and kind soul. I'll try better next time. I will think a little longer and harness those words next time. But will I ever get it right? No. I don't think so. I will, however, improve, and so will you.

Take Good Care Today.

You Are What You Think!

If you have lived your life being self-critical as much as I have...well, first of all, I am sorry. I have lived much of my life in that critical head-space and I just can't waste another moment in that place. If you are self-critical as well, please take a step back and rethink how you speak to yourself and the words you use. When it comes to myself, I could find fault in just about any situation at any moment. I've second-guessed myself more times than I could name. But, this is something I've learned to steer away from, and I'd encourage you to do so as well.

We are put on this earth to live full lives --to dream and dance and love and play. We are given bodies in which to travel. These bodies deteriorate over time. We try to make a difference. We attempt to change the world. We want to make strong connections. We'd like to think we bring some happiness and joy to mankind. But, really, other than that...there is little else. So, why, I ask you, do we spend one moment tearing anyone apart-- least of all our own selves?

I've been blessed in my lifetime to have received an enormous amount of compliments. I wish I had a dollar for every one! Do I remember those lovely comments others have taken the time to speak to me? No. Sadly, I remember very few. However, I DO remember negative things said to me. I keep those fresh in my memory and don't recall a single compliment! I am sure this is human nature, but wouldn't it be nice if it were the other way around? For me, I have to work at turning it 180 degrees.

Then there is my own inner voice. Here are some of the things I've said to myself: “ You're not as good as that person is. You are starting to get a chicken neck. Your hands look old. You are fat and jiggly. You aren't intellectual. You are selfish.” Aren't those just the sweetest words you've ever heard? NO! They are not.

It tends to be more difficult to tell yourself the kinder words: “You're just as good as anyone else in the world! You look so good for your age! You have very caring hands that are so talented. You are smart and full of knowledge. You give so much to the world.” Much better.

Whatever you seem to tell yourself, you see, does matter. You are what you think you are. It is your reality, your dream. If you think you are the most amazing woman on the planet, then for all intents and purposes, you simply are. Everything is relative my friend. BE that woman. BE the most AMAZING woman on the planet. BE the loveliest, most giving, kindest, sweetest, most gentle, caring, beautiful woman in the world. It is YOUR WORLD. You make it up.

Tell yourself who you want to be and POOF, magically you are she!


Take Good Care Today!

Horton Hears a... WHO?

Do you fear that you will leave this earth and no one will have ever really heard you? Just like the little WHOs who live in on the dust speck, we want to be heard! We Are Here, We Are Here, We Are Here!

You are here dear friend and if people are not hearing you, make yourself be heard. If you've stated your piece and feel unheard, state it again! If you feel that people take advantage of you and walk all over you, don't let it happen. Stand firm and BE HEARD!  Stand on the table!  Bounce off the walls...BE HEARD!

You are soooooo JUST as important as any one else and you deserve to have your voice heard. Do not be part of a relationship in which you suffer in silence. Your word is necessary and valid. You are strong and have your own thoughts and opinions. Stand straight up and be WHO you are...do not bend over backwards to please another....look them in the eyes and open up your vocal cords.

I lived for awhile squelching what I wanted to say to please another. I took the back seat and let them lead. I stayed quiet and did things in a meek way so as to keep the peace. I know what it's like to be pushed around and told my voice, my words, my wisdom, my offerings were not valid. I lived that life.

But, friend, you've got to know...it was wrong. It is not right to be treated this way. Don't let another take away your vociferocity! You go for it! Talk all you want! Talk about what you want! Say it! Call it by name! Give it a name! Change the name! It's your life. Live it, scream it, be heard!

Take Good Care Today!

Fear-Based Life vs. Joy-Based Life

Fear will crush you. Fear is debilitating. It is probably the MOST detrimental emotion there is. There may be times a healthy fear is good for you, like fear of going out in a lightening storm or fear of walking down a dark ally...but really – even then – you hold that fear for a moment and then make intelligent decisions past that fear.

There are fear-based people and joy-based people. There are times in your life you are fear- based and times when you grow through that and learn to find joy. We get hit with some issues, at different points, that wear us down and fear emerges. A lot of times we're born into fear and we know no other way. Whatever the cause, it is no way to live. We must find a path through living in fear and grab that victorious life of joy.

It isn't always easy. In fact, it just isn't easy at all. We learn to like our fear, it is our comfort, our 'way'. We have told ourselves stories for so long that those stories are what we know so well and we can't imagine a life beyond. Fear has 'worked' for us for years and we don't know how we'd do in other situations. We are afraid to let go of fear.

Listen, I hear you. I get it! I've been there. I was born into fear and it took literally YEARS of learning a new way to get out of it. I made it, though! I have lived in joy for a good many years and it is wonderful! We need to make new stories for ourselves. YES! Stories! Tell yourself something different! Challenge the way you've always thought! If you've told yourself you're useless for years, look in that mirror and start telling yourself how useful you are! If you've thought you were ugly for years, look at yourself again with new eyes and find that beauty! You are the stories you tell yourself. Break through fear and locate that joy center. You'll never want to go back. These are your choices in life. Yours alone.

“There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” FDR


Take Good Care Today.

Never Stop Trying

Never Stop Trying

Sometimes I want to. There are days I can't try at all and have to give in to whatever comes my way. There are days I can't control what I eat. There are days I can't control my emotions. I simply have lost all energy for trying and my give-a-damn has broken. Whatever comes my way consumes me and I consume it.

I don't like these days. I know it is not realistic to think we're never going to have a day like this. We do. It may not be an entire day, but portions of these days come along and then I am upset with myself and the ball begins rolling down the isle of self-judgment...and not the good kind. Once it begins in this direction—it becomes more difficult for me to realign myself and balance out again.

When this does happen to me, I have noticed there are a few steps I can take to restart myself on a good path. I can get up and take a shower which symbolically washes away the badness I've gotten myself into. I can down a bunch of water which has a cleansing effect on my body. I can get outside and burn off some energy and breathe in some freshness. So far today, I've done two of these three and now I'm lying in the sunshine writing this. I guess I should say sunshine helps and so does writing!

One thing to keep in mind when you are having a case of the grumpies is that you have nothing to really complain about. Look in the mirror. Do you have a horrible facial deformity? No. There are people who do. Is there a roof over your head? Yes. There are heads with no roofs. Speak peace to yourself and tell yourself that you have nothing to whine about. There's not a thing to be grumpy about. So, frankly, cut the crap.

Life's too lovely to be grumpy. Our days here are too short to give in to too much whining. Restart yourself as soon as you possibly can and don't let the grumpies get you. You control life. It doesn't control you.

Try again.


Take Good Care Today.

Life Doesn't Fit in a Box

I've tried to make life fit in a box before. For years I tried to do this. I had expectations and by God I wanted those expectations met. Most of the expectations were on myself, but I also had certain things I expected from the world. I wanted every trouble solved, every argument smoothed over, each debt paid. I lived for 30+ years hoping and praying and striving to have absolutely no regrets in life. Guess what? Nada. Nope. Not happening.


Despite my every effort for perfection and to have every expectation magically met, this did not happen. I used to pray my heart out for life situations to heal over. I spent hours on my knees, literally- robustly in prayer for diverse issues. It is not that I feel that my efforts were in vain-I believe prayer and meditation are healthy and an integral part of a healthy spiritual life. However, I was trying to fit my life in box and that was not happening then and it is not happening now.


Life is messy. You will have regrets. You will mess up and make mistakes. Relationships will crumble despite your every effort to keep them healthy and strong. People will get sick and die. You will experience a job loss, an illness, a fire, something....You will come home to a mess, a dog puke, a fallen down Christmas tree, a door blown open in the middle of winter … (almost all have happened to me!)


If we remember that no one's life fits into a box it helps. No one gets an easy ride. It may seem so at times, but we simply don't know every aspect of another's life. If we keep in mind that the rains fall on each of us, we walk with a little more grace through the tough times. We are able to put into perspective those events that try to throw us off course. Expect life to be messy. You can't always clean it up. Often, even if you call the hazmat team...there will still be contamination. You can't help it. Live on, my friend.

Cut down the edges of the box and let life dribble over. This is truly living.



Take Good Care Today.

I Before E: Intelligence Before Emotion

This is something my mother used to say to me when I was having debilitating anxiety as a young adult. New situations used to be very hard for me. Being away from home was a struggle. Going to college at 17 was a tremendous anxiety producing event in my life. There were reasons for my anxiety, and it ALWAYS helped me to remember my mother's words.

Our emotions are tricky. They like to rely on patterns sometimes. They revert to this easy path that involves the heart and they tug and tug. They like to sit in our center and stir up the juices until we cannot function. Face it, they'll say anything to get their way and often to our detriment.

Our intelligence knows the facts. It can look around where we are and say, “There is no immediate danger. There is nothing here that is going to hurt you.”  Say you are entering a room full of people you may not know and you begin to feel that inner anxiety pull at you. It is making you feel several things at once and none of them feels good! Please try to realize this is the time to switch to intelligence and leave emotion behind. Your intelligence tells you that these are people, too.  Just people.  

I once worked in an office where I was all alone all day answering phones. That was literally it. I was anxious every day. I was sick to my stomach and suffered much. I was very young and was learning to put I before E. It was very hard work back then. Eventually, I brought a cookbook to work with me and I would study it between answering the phones. It brought me comfort, reminded me of home and allowed my heart to calm down. This gave me moments of serenity that allowed time enough for me to put my "I" first.  All was well.  I was doing a job.  I may not have liked it, but it was a job for a time.  I could do this.  

These days, I don't get anxious as much. It takes a big event to trigger anxiety....usually. However, I am able to put Intelligence before Emotion much more quickly. If I walk into a room full of people I don't know now, I ask my Intelligence for help. Not my Emotion. Emotion will scare me. It will say scary words to me because it relies on unstable memories and often false thoughts. My Intelligence detaches from it all, looks around with smart eyeballs and assesses the situation. People, faces, lives, insecurities, troubles, strengths....that is what is in the room facing me....NOT oh my god who are they how do I fit do I look okay will they think I am not smart what are they thinking I don't like this I want to leave right now....!


Use your Intelligence before Emotion. It is the SMART way to live.


Thanks, Mom.


Take Good Care Today.

You're Just As Good As Anyone Else

Don't ever feel that you are not as good as anyone else. I spent far too many years thinking this way. It can cripple a person, strip them of any sense of self worth and negate any achievement. Always know that we are all on the same level. We all hail from the same place and will return to such. No one has one thing over you and you have nothing over another. We are equals.


Our egos are interesting. They can inflate or deflate. If we are the type of person who feels superior, our egos are inflated. We think the world owes us something and we possess something that no other could ever possibly offer. If we often feel inferior, we suffer from deflated ego-our ego is lying on the floor among our torn off clothing as we stand naked against the world – vulnerability exposed. There is a healthy balance and it begins in your heart.

When you know in your heart that humans are fallible and lovable at the same time, you realize you are among this very group made from the same pieces of fiber. Others will, at times, look so amazing to you and you may feel a twinge of jealously and think you are less. Let this not be so. Realize that everyone shines at different moments in their days. You will have opportunities to shine as well... Keep your ego at an even level and remember we are all on this earth to live the same existence in various ways.

You are no less than another. Your strengths are strong! Your weaknesses mold you and teach you. Each one of us suffers at times. Each one rises to that peak of near perfection at times. We share the human condition. It is ours together. There is no 'I' in this world, we are all 'one' and we are all 'equal' though not the same.

Please keep this in mind the next time you walk into a room of people filled with those with whom you are not familiar. Hold you head up high and offer yourself to the world. This is it, folks! Don't wait another minute to believe in yourself and begin to put faith in YOU! You are pretty darn good the way you are. You are a beautiful, breathing babe!


Take Good Care Today!

EAT CLEAN!

Nourishment comes to a woman in many forms. My heart needs relationships to be nourished. My mind needs good literature, poetry, stimulating conversation, humorous banter, etc. – to get its fancy feast. My body, however, needs CLEAN FOOD. My friend, so does yours.

Clean eating is not a new way to it. It is a 21^st century term for basic eating, really. It refers to an all natural-not processed eating plan that fully nourishes the human being. It does not have any elements that cause inflammation in the body, but fully feeds it naturally and healthfully.

Clean eating is really the only way one should consider to take in their nutrients. I am not on a soap box about this-just stating the facts. Real food is only one thing - and that is Real Food. Processed foods with additives and nastinesses in them will do for your body exactly what they promise....give you a body full of additives and nastiness.


You know I am right. You've read Dr. Oz, or Dr. Weil, or Dr. Ornish. You've leafed through Prevention Magazine or some other magazine devoted to giving you the correct information. You even know how you feel after you've taken your sustenance from a fast food restaurant or eaten fare from a truck that delivers frozen things to your door.


I want to encourage you today to get away from junk. Yes, you will have withdrawals. Yes, you'll crave a late night chip. But, this will only happen for a little while. You will soon crave a healthy smoothie, a bulgar burger, a plate full of veggies. Your body will purr and your mind will clear, I promise. I totally promise. You will add years to your life. Do it. Eat Clean.

Here's my morning smoothie recipe:

1 cup strawberries
1 cup blueberries
1 T chia seeds
1 scoop whey protein powder
1 T Stevia (good for you sweetener)
1 T almond butter
3 ice cubes
2 cups of water


Let me know if you like it! I perfected it and drink it almost every day for breakfast!

Take Good Care Today!

The Weight of the World

There are times when my heart just aches. I get into this zone where I can't bear the pains I see around me and I lose it. I apply all of the world's woes to my shoulders and buckle underneath the weight. Tears run down my face as I weep for one thing or another because I am sorrowful and heartbroken for someone else.

I am affected easily and by much. A student who is struggling due to a hard homelife will bring me to tears. The distraught friend who is losing her father breaks my heart. The anniversary of the death of the young brother of my good bosom buddy crushes me. I lose it over a family member who has anxiety, possible cancer diagnoses from another...


This on top of all that is happening in the world...beheadings, natural disasters, starvation, crime of all sorts. On and on the list goes and my heart churns and my head aches and I feel distressed and forlorn. It is almost impossible to see the light out of it all.

But, the light comes. I realize that in a way it is good that my heart is tender and I care so much. I am glad I was made this way. It is called compassion. I was served a heavy dose of it when my DNA was put together and I know it is my best and my worst quality. I also know I am not alone. You may be this way as well. Perhaps you are a person who carries the weights of the world on your shoulders like I do. If so, take heart.


If you do get yourself in these situations, I encourage to feel those feelings, do what they prompt you to do to help ease any of these issues, then close your eyes and breathe them away. With each breath blow these pains to the winds. Release them to snowflakes and sun-rays.

We cannot function under duress all the time. We are not equipped to change the course of events in the world by ourselves. But, we are designed to care and care deeply. Do so, but do not let it consume you, because it WILL consume you. I am sure even Mother Theresa had to take a break from it all once in awhile.

The world needs those of us who care so much. :)


Take Good Care Today.

Take a Front Row Seat!

Here's something weird that I do. Ever since I was a kid, when I attended an event, I sat in the front row. Now mind you, we were poor people and I don't believe there were a lot of events attended in my childhood. Perhaps this is why, as I grew up, I gravitated to the front row so as not to miss a moment of the adventure.

Thinking back, I am remembering church services, speeches, graduations, weddings, movies, talks, discussions...etc. -- all of which I prodded my way to the front to witness. Others may enjoy a seat in the back rows that allows for quick retreat if necessary. I have never been this type of person. I hunger for the front row.

This realization came to me this afternoon. I've literally always tried to sit in the front row of life. I have a hunger to push past the cheap seats (OH I wish I could afford the expensive seats) and sit as close to the edge of what is happening as possible.  I want to be INVOLVED with what is happening around me.  I want to soak up the nourishment that others have to give to me.  I want the knowledge, the wisdom, the tidbit...I want it all!

This is an interesting awareness to have come to me right smack in the middle of the day and I think I know why. It is to encourage you, dear reader, to push yourself to the front row and partake of what it has to offer. Don't miss anything you were meant to learn. Do not let one piece of vital information pass over your head because you dared not take the front row. Activate your curiosity and hear what is out there meant often just for your ears. 

 Take a front row seat at every opportunity.




Take Good Care Today.