Integrity

Integrity.  Ah integrity.  Have you seen any lately?  Not everyone you encounter possesses it.  Many have no clue what it means.  Others find no value for it.

Integrity means not always saying what you know others want to hear.  It might mean speaking your honest mind in a situation that might cause you immediate discomfort.  However, you can never go wrong with it.  It will seem like you have, but I believe the universe rewards those with integrity, if not immediately, then eventually.

My son was telling me today that he had a job interview and the word 'integrity' was written on the wall.  He said he answered a question honestly but that it may have cost him the job.  Yes, he could have given the pat answer, but he chose not to.  He saw the word 'integrity' on the wall, and it reminded him to be honest and up front.  So, he was.  His honest answer was one that may prove to not be what they were looking for in their candidate.  But, he did what he felt he had to do.

The Toltec Religion is one I enjoy reading about.  In this religion, there are agreements.  One of the agreements is that we are 'impeccable with our word'.  This may seem like an easy feat, but it is truly difficult.  We don't realize how often we may sway facts or twist truths.  To be 'impeccably full of integrity', one really needs to THINK before one speaks.  That, my friend, is not as commonly done as one would hope.

Think about being impeccable with integrity.  Consider always speaking what your honest heart is holding.  It proves averse to your internal growth to do otherwise.  We want others to treat us with integrity, therefore, there is no reason why we should not as well.  I believe all good is rewarded and speaking your heart with integrity, hopefully will result in good for you.  I have to hang on to the thought that it does and it will.

Take Good Care Today!

Perception

It boggles my mind how one person can perceive something one way and another perceive the exact same issue in an opposing way.  This is truly because we have all lived through our own lives, experiences and truths.  We have all been affected by the world in a different way.  Some have had more hardships than others, internal struggles, outward pressures, etc.  The list goes on as to why we all perceive situations differently.

We have to be careful not to put our own 'spin' on things when we relate to others.  If you listen to people closely, you will hear their personal spins being attached to situations or events.  If these events affect you, you must be careful to separate the words of the person speaking with actual reality.  This takes a careful study of the other's delivery and a close attention to their words. If we don't do this, we will be swayed by another's point of view and we must be careful to avoid this.  It is important, I think, to listen to another and then create our own opinions.

There are dramatic people in the world.  It is sometimes hard to be around them because everything is a big issue.  If you are like me, you are trying to avoid big issues!  I am not interested in huge, dramatic occurrences on a daily basis.  There are those who are!  Even on an hourly basis!  Too much for me....I want no part of it!  I've lived through enough drama and I won't say I never caused any.  Some folks create drama as a coping mechanism, others just have no idea they are addicted to it.  Either way, drama is insidious, will cause stress, worry and heartache.

If we care for ourselves we will wish to avoid drama and dramatic people.  I always take a person with a grain of salt if I know they are dramatic.  I have to protect myself from getting pulled into drama or overwhelmed by the grandiose drama of others.  I know I do better when I put things into perspective and calm the heck down!  Don't you?  

Hey, Take Good Care Today!

Mind Body Connection

I never understood how some people could go through life not connected to their bodies.  We have but one and without it....well...it's just not happening.  I have known plenty of people who ignore the health professionals and do things their way to the point of ill health.  I suppose it could be easy to do, but I am not sure why anyone would do so.

I know health professionals, research, trends...whatever...have been wrong, some actually have gone against our health due to lack of research, knowledge, or money.  Whatever.  I get that smoking was once cool and I know that diet soda was once better for you...or margarine, or eggs...we are often told that 'they' have been wrong and we've caused harm to ourselves by following 'their' advice.  But, we really have no other information to go on, so we go on faith and we try our best.

That in mind, there are many good health options that we could be taking advantage of that we just breeze over and ignore.  We choose not to listen to what our bodies want and need.  Then we wake up one day and can't imagine why we're immobile, stiff, overweight...stressed, anxious...or other!  We've ignored ourselves long enough!  Time to take the reins!

I have recently begun Yoga.  I've never really done it regularly, despite the fact that I do like it.  I have always found it hard to slow down long enough to perform it and I didn't think is was 'high impact' enough to consider 'exercise'. ( I've been guided down dumber paths in my life by listening to my own voice, trust me!)  But, I am so enjoying the benefits of Yoga right now.  No, I am not good at it.  No, I can't do everything correctly.  However, I know I will get good at it.  I know I will feel the benefits of it before long.  I DO feel like it is a challenging exercise.  It feels so good for my body.

And there it is.  What is good for our bodies?  What is good for our minds?  Exercise is beneficial to both mind and body.  It is so wonderful to walk, run, do Yoga, stretch, play...move!  Our minds are thrilled and exulted!  Our bodies are refreshed, regenerated and happy!  A little effort goes a long way!

Study your body and your mind and the connections the two have.  They have a deep relationship and should not be separated. Do not ignore one for the other.  Balance your life out, heal your mind, heal your body, stretch your thoughts along with your limbs.  You'll be happier and healthier, dear one.

Take Good Care Today!

In Truth

Truth will get you.  You can't hide from it.  It will come out.  It may be in various forms and at intermittent times, but it will show its face.  The face of truth is something that only you can see and only you can recognize.  But, you can not hide from it.  Truth wants to be known.  It does not want to be avoided.  

We have truths we must face each day of our lives.  Truths about ourselves will emerge whether we try our best to push them way down deep.  They find ways of reaching the surface.  They demand to be known and dealt with.  

We may try to go years ignoring truth.  It can be done but it cannot be sustained - and should not be sustained.  We must come to terms with our truths, face them, work with them, apply them and file them, live them, practice them....whatever...but not ignore them.

Why would we want to ignore our own truths anyway?  Isn't it harder to live life avoiding your truth than actually living it?  No one likes the nagging feeling that lies behind that truth trying to surface.  It makes you feel guilty, resentful, unsettled, un-evolved.  You will never reach your full potential as a person if you do not face your truth like a man (woman), look it straight in the eyes, and take it on yourself in full disclosure.  

Perhaps your truth is that you are out of shape and overweight and you know that is not good for you.  Perhaps you smoke cigarettes, have an addiction, are in a bad marriage.  Maybe you need more education, a different job. Perhaps you need to share your talents by volunteering and not sitting at home every night.  Only you know the truths you have and if you don't know them, it is high time you sat down with yourself and tried to figure them out.  Isn't it?  

 Our truths come in many ways and many forms.  We must not live the lies anymore.  We must not believe the lies anymore.  We must live our truths. Why would we want to live any other way?

Take Good Care Today.

Choose Your Friends Wisely

Friends.  Some come into our lives for a short period of time, others are here to stay.  Some are like sisters to us while others remain distant.  We have friends with whom we share our lives.  We have friends with whom we rarely speak but when we do, it is as if we spoke yesterday.  We are closer to some friends at certain points in our lives and at others; we drift away.

Friendships are wondrous and also work.  They can happen magically at times and at other times we have to forgive and forget, or choose to move on.  There are people with whom we make attachments that we then realize that the friendship isn't going to be one of benefit and we must say goodbye somehow.  Other friends are worth hanging on to; the bond is for life.  These are the friends with whom we must offer ourselves in every state of repair, and who we accept in any form of growth.

Many times our friends' lives mirror ours.  Hopefully each of us has one or two friends who have gone or are going through the exact same life events that we are and have a wisdom and an understanding to share.  Other times we are the lead on a certain life happening and can guide or help our friends.  Either way, this is called support.

Really, we love our friends for their support.  We call when we need them, they call when they need us...or text, or write, or fb or whatever the medium.  We need our friends to bounce ideas off of, to listen to our heartache, to direct us with advice.

In return, we are good friends back.  If we weren't they wouldn't keep coming back to us.  Being a good friend does mean talking on the phone when you aren't up to it, or making a trip to pick up something.  You don't mind because you are a friend.  We do for those we love and want to keep in our lives.

There are times when we are the recipient of all good things from friends because we have absolutely nothing to offer to the world.  I spent a month on the couch once, crying uncontrollably.  I did nothing for my friends.  All I did was cry.  My friends came to me, brought me food, walked with me, kept me close.  One friend made me a comfort quilt.  Mostly, they sat with me and held my hands.  I got through it and I will always, always, always remember those people who came to me during that terrible time.  Thank you, dear friends.

Be a great friend to someone today.

Take Good Care Today.

CHOICES

There are so many choices we are called on to make in this world.  We fret over them.  We worry about them.  We lose sleep.  Some of these choices are chances to better our lives, others are just average situations we get ourselves into.  Some choices will completely alter how we live our lives while others won't have a ton of effect on us, but are hard to make, all the same.

I believe inside each of us is that place where we really know what choice to make.  We stand before two roads and one road speaks to us just a little more than the other.  We tend to hate change so we don't always listen to that little voice that is guiding us. However, change is the one thing you can count on in life and change is very good for us.  

Have you ever noticed when you change jobs or meet someone knew, you suddenly have this desire to lose weight, or exercise, or read more...or whatever it is you wish you had more of in your life?  It is like one new spot in your life rejuvenates and revs up the rest of you?  Newness is good, change is good.  Choices are hard, but need not be so much so.

There really is no wrong choice.  You are who you are no matter where you are or who you are with.  Your heart knows what it needs.  If you listen quietly and assess your life, you will find that you are leaning one way.  You aren't stupid.  You know.  Listen to yourself in all honesty.  Bare your soul to yourself and weigh the facts.  Take away all of the little glistening glories that surround the choice and take it down to the reality.  When you do this, you can weigh out the decision and make the correct one.  Then when you do, go with it with all your might!

Because you are who you are and you are wonderful and amazing, you will rock whichever choice you make.  You will spread your sunshiny arms around that new choice and be amazing.  If you chose to stay with the old, then give that your all as well.  Just be you wherever you are.  You will shine and your world will shine.  

Have fun making choices!

Take Good Care Today.

Hurt As a Child

None of us escapes being hurt while growing up.  If we managed to make it through our parents not intentionally damaging us, we surely got hurt at school.  Maybe it was an insensitive teacher that picked too much  Perhaps it was a peer who bullied.  We each get scraped up as we grow up.  There is no avoiding it.  From birth - on - we face situations that cause us pain.

Sometimes, events that hurt us are completely unintentional.  A house fire or an car accident surely cause damage to a small child.  Even our parents, most of the time, didn't mean to cause us harm when they hurt us.  Words spoken out of anger or frustration come from parents all the time and most are good people who would never hurt a flea.  Even phrases like, "you're not that fat," or "you could have gotten an A+,"  are intentional but still tear at our hearts.   They  cause damage...even if unbeknownst to the speaker.  We just can't come out of childhood  unscathed.

What we do with that hurt as we grow up is another thing entirely.  Some folks take their childhood hurts into adulthood with them (I know no one who doesn't) and find it difficult to move smoothly through life with those past pains still attached.  Other people laugh off old hurts and move on with grace and ease.

Not so much for me.  I hung on to childhood struggles for years.  Maybe because I was an emotional, estrogen-laden young, creative soul...I don't know.  I just hung on to things and let them push me around for a very long time.  In fact, there are still past hurts that are now disguised by modern day coping mechanisms, but they originated way, way long ago and just look all shiny and new now.  But they aren't.  They began when I was a child and they morphed into grown-up-looking issues.  No prettier, just more mature. Indeed, if I had been able to let go of so many childhood pains what a different woman I would have been.

However, I didn't, and I haven't, altogether.  But, I am who I am.  I am sensitive, and self-conscious.  I am a worrier and I fret over things.  I get nervous and scared.  But, I am not as sensitive as I was when I was younger and I can take a joke made at my expense!  I am not as self-conscious as I once was.  I can walk in a room and rock it even with the 10 pounds I gained in my 40's.  I worry and fret about a few things, but then I put them away because I know I can't change them.  I do the best I can.

I bet you do, too.

Take Good Care Today.

You Are Resilient!

You may not think you are.  You may feel like you don't bounce back or that your inner shape does not return to its original after having been stretched.  But, it does and you are.  We are very resilient people, women especially.  We were made to bend a lot and not break.  We are twisted and pulled and pushed and man-handled. However, we rise again.  We find our shape again.

Life does pressure us.  We pressure ourselves.  We want to conform, yet we want to be individuals.  We are eager to fit in but yet the media lies to us  insisting that we look certain ways or own certain name-brands if we are to be accepted.  We push ourselves far beyond our own limits, we allow others to take advantage of us, we lose respect for ourselves at times, we have regrets.  However, when all is said and done, we usually come back to ourselves, hope to get stronger and we find our shape once again.

Some people have very difficult lives.  They suffer pains that no one can possibly understand or see.  Yet, many times when we talk with these folks, we are surprised by their resiliency.  We are shocked that they have turned out well.  We wonder how they did it and are still sane.  I am sure it is because people who seek to heal, will find that healing within themselves.

I went to a small gathering once where a woman spoke who had had her faced burned off in a brutal attack by her ex-husband.  She literally had no face left.  She was almost blind, had only holes for a nose and mouth and sockets with hollow eyes poking out.  She was one of the most beautiful people I've ever met.  She spoke of the forgiveness she had for her ex.  She forgave him for herself, so that she could heal and bounce back into herself again.  She was a miracle woman and I listened hard to her.

These kinds of events come into my life and teach me that nothing I go through is hard after all.  I can handle what events take place and I can endure them with ease and grace.  I am resilient, I am strong and I am learning every day what those two words mean.

May you also be resilient.

Take Good Care Today.

Reality Break

Taking a break from reality is such a genuinely healthy experience to give yourself.  Whether for you that means traveling or lying on your bed...a break from the world and its expectations is often needed and welcome.  I've always thought working 5 days a week was too much on a person.  If that was all we did, that wouldn't be so bad.  But, we have so many other demands on us.  Working, keeping a home, keeping up with exercise, cooking for our families, shopping for our families...all of these are top priorities and not one of them is restful.  

It is perfectly okay to stop and take a break from reality.  Whether you get vacations, or you give yourself mental health days, it is important to cherish yourself enough to add reality breaks to your life.  We sometimes think we are indispensable.  We are not.  Our jobs find ways to manage without us.  Our homes usually make it through no cleaning for a day...we can eat peanut butter and jelly for dinner, it won't hurt us and might be fun!  No one dies when we say, we're taking a break!

Do you remember when your kids were little?  Did you ever shut yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes to speak on the phone?  I don't remember doing that, in particular, but I did get up at 4 a.m. to read and have quiet time.  There is nothing I love more than quiet time listening to birds, drinking coffee and reading and writing.  In fact, I've often thought that my retirement would be just that.  I'm excited for it!  

Give yourself reality breaks regularly.  You don't have to tell anyone what you're doing or when you're doing it.  Just step away, curl up, go away -- whatever you find is the most beneficial to you.  Break away because you are worth it and life is short.  Reality is harsh and rugged.  Step back and be just you once in awhile.  No expectations, no chores, no worries.  Just you.  Away from it all.

Take Good Care Today.

Create Your Experience

We are totally in control of only one thing.  That one thing is control over our own minds.  We have the choice every second of the day to create the paths our minds wander down.  We have the abilities to change our minds, calm our minds, pep-up our minds, bring joy to our minds and depress our minds.  We really and truly do.

We create our realities.  By fixing our attitudes on joy and happiness, lightness and positivity... we shine on the world the illuminative (I made that word up) qualities it so desperately needs and by doing so, we receive those glitters of light back into our souls.  We NEED to remain positive or we will be destroyed by negativity, sadness, illness, all things dark.

Spreading your inner light outwardly comes back into yourself and helps your own mind strengthen its positive powers.  

I am a nurturer.  I am probably a nurturer before I am anything else.  It was my childhood, it was my teen years, it is my adulthood.  It is my profession.  I can't get away from it, nor do I want to.  While I endeavor to nurture joy in the world, I receive my own nurturing back.  I hear it in my words, I see it in those around me, I walk it with friends.  I am nurtured inwardly as I hold close those aspects I so believe in and share them with those around me.  For one thing, when you are sweet, kind and positive, those around you WANT to be with you.  They desire your company because they receive from you a joy that they themselves need.  You are 'fun' because you are upbeat and happy. 

No one wants to be around misery.  Misery loves company and I have never fully realized the gravity of those words until this writing.  People who are miserable and enjoy it (or think they do) are in love with each other's company.  They feed off each other, but they are MISERABLE.  I refuse to be that person.  What a life to live.  I choose to create a different reality for myself.

I know life isn't easy.  I know things don't always go our way.  But, I promise you if you remain positive, your experience on this earth will also be more positive.  It cannot help but be so.

Take Good Care Today.  

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

I don't know about you, but I have ideals that sometimes are far beyond my reach.  I want to transform myself somehow into a woman that I am not and achieve impossible or very difficult feats.  I never seem to settle and enjoy who I am at the moment or let myself off the hook for not being what that IDEAL is in my brain.  If you are anything like this...here are my thoughts:

1.  I don't believe in giving up.  I believe in pressing on, but I do think there are happy mediums.

2.  Every day is a new day to try new things and give another shot at some of your ideals.  If they get you closer, great, if they don't, oh well.  (and seriously .... oh well.)

3.  Give yourself permission to be human and fallible.

4.  Strive for ideals but don't kill yourself trying

5.  Write down what you would envision for yourself, perhaps a set of guidelines.

6.  Live life with joy and happiness and try to meet those goals when you can and when you can't, accept that.

7.  Enjoy yourself.  You are the only you there is and although you think you aren't perfect, you really are.

8.  If you have to have a hissy fit, do it, get over it and move on.  (Try to do it in private).

9.  Talk to your best friends.  They love you and want to help you.

10.  Journal thoughts and feelings.

These steps really apply to any situation.  I am struggling with a particular issue and I have to pick myself up off the floor, dry my eyes and set my course straight on this one issue....literally...All The Time.  But, I can't give up, all I can do is try hard, adjust my expectations, and move on.

I hope you can learn a little from me.

Take Good Care Today.

Accept Your Uniqueness

First of all, there is no normal.  There is no average.  I mean, yes, there are normal levels of cholesterol, and average blood pressure rates, but a 'normal' personality?  No.  We are all given a different one.  We are born with a certain way that we are going to be and then it is altered by the events and situations of our lives.  We control some of how our personality develops, but not all.  We are who we are.  

One thing that is interesting is that once we become aware enough to realize there might be a part of our personalities we don't care for, it can be very hard to change.  We all have quirks about ourselves that we wish we could push into a different direction, and this CAN happen, but it isn't always easy.  We meet people now and again who have traits that we admire.  We wish we could be like them in one way or another.  For me, this seems to take a LONG time.  I see that woman I want to be in my head and she is closer to me than she used to be.  Oh, she used to be a LONG way in the distance.  But, now, she's around the corner.  It's almost as if the closer to living my full life out, the closer I get to being that woman.

  I am more accepting of myself than ever before.  I've lowered my perfectionistic standards some so that I am able to actually BE a human woman.  I knew a woman once who always told me to shoot for 80% in everything.  Of course, I thought she was nuts because I was a 110% person!  But, I get it now.  For example, instead of running 6 miles a day, I can run 3 miles a few times a week.  I mean, really.

 The older we get, the wiser, the calmer, the truer to ourselves.  I love this. Yes, I still pick on myself, I still want to change aspects of my personality.  I still don't love that I get too silly when I should be serious, or that I jump into things without fully knowing all the details.  I hate that I can get upset and have my buttons pushed.  AND...that I am so self-critical.  But, all of these are being worked on.  I will get there.  I will settle into that woman.  I am accepting her now.

Accept who you are and work on YOU.  But....don't be discontent.  

Take Good Care Today.

Work Management

We know we are responsible people and we want to be considered hard workers, but work is daunting...I've always been able to manage my time well.  I make lists and organize jobs to be done in order of necessity and importance. I enjoy getting my work done before my play so that I am free and light in my heart when it is time to play.  

The advantages of managing time well are so vast and many.  Sometimes it requires setting the alarm a little early or staying up a bit late, but not very often if you are consistent with your time management.  Chores are no one's best friend, but if done with energy at the beginning of the day, the rest of the day is free.  This is also true for exercise, which I consider a chore.  I know others many not consider it a chore, but for me, anything that requires effort that is unpleasant or hard, is a chore.  I don't mind working hard on things if I know I can accomplish what needs to be done and then be free for the day.

If you struggle with prioritizing your life into manageable segments here are some strategies:

~Make lists
~Prioritize all chores on list
~Chunk out the work
~Complete hard work first
~Be sure to write down the fun things you want to do
~Be happy with 80% sometimes
~Move things to tomorrow if only if you will feel 'free' in doing so

When I say, 'move things to tomorrow only if you feel 'free' in doing so,' here is what I mean:

Many people put off work until the next day and then it piles up on them.  It is an easy pattern to fall into.  However, it feels terrible and stresses us out!  The freedom that comes with work completion is like no other.  It feels surprisingly amazing. If you have some work on your list and you are considering putting it off until tomorrow, think about your insides for a minute.  Do you get a little anxiety when you consider putting it off?  Are you dreading it terribly?  Then I say, do it now and get it off your plate.  It is bugging you and stressing you and you can only feel better by doing it now!

Don't be stressed, my friend.  Do what needs to be done and then have fun!

Take Good Care Today!

See the Humor in Life

Don't take life too seriously.  I have spent way too many years doing just this.  I laugh more about life now than I ever have.  But, I didn't come by this naturally.  No, not at all. Oh, I know how to over-react to something.  THAT one I did come by naturally.  I nursed it within myself when it wasn't modeled for me.  I could make a mundane situation come to life with drama! The problem is, the more drama and seriousness, the less humor.  When there is little humor in your life, you can become distressed, bitter, mad, depressed...you name it...none of them good.  Humor adds perspective to any situation.  It also adds joy.

I've had so many missed opportunities for humor; it is a shame.  There was the time I went on the low carb-high protein diet and gained 8 pounds in a week!  I didn't laugh then, but now it's hilarious!  Then I was bullied on an online Weight Watcher's program for eating a mixing bowl full of popcorn and calling that a serving!  I mean, who does this stuff happen to other than me?

Another time I received a hate letter from a 'friend' who thought I talked about my children too much. I smile now because of the ridiculousness of her letter!  Who the heck cares?  Leave the room if you don't like it?  Get your own kids!  I don't know....you can't make this stuff up.

How about when you come home from work and push the answering machine button and you hear this:  "osidhflshfjhkjshf will expire in 4 days.  Press nine for assistance."  What can you do but laugh your head off?  It's hysterical. I don't know what we're in danger of having expire...perhaps our house will blow up or cars be repossessed?  I have NO IDEA what is expiring!

All of these situations could make you mad, crazy...uneasy, anxious.  However, when we separate ourselves from them  and try very hard to find the humor, it becomes easier every single time. I think it is a much happier way to live.  Try it!

Laugh it up and laugh it off, dear one.  Add a giggle to your day!

Take Good Care Today!

Get Real

Get Real with your life.  Just do it.  There is no time and no place for insincere or fake living.  We can't survive for long on lies.  Misery is the only outcome if you are trying to push through life without truly getting real with yourself.  Isn't it high time you were finished with the untruths and began to expose them for the falsities they are?  Find your truth and live it.

One way to begin to break free from your own lies is to write them down as you think of them.
Some lies I tell myself are:

~I'm not intelligent.
~I am overweight.
~I am old and frumpy.
~I am not as good as others.
~People think I'm lame.
~I don't have anything brilliant to add to the world.

I mean, this could go on.  When I am tired and worn thin, these lies come to surface.  I have little strength to combat them and so I give in and let them have their way.  Deep inside of myself I know full well these are lies.  In fact:

~I have a Master's Degree in Education
~ I am a thin woman
~Age is insignificant and I am the furthest thing from frumpy
~I am just as good as anyone else
~Plenty of people think I'm great
~I have added so much brilliance already to the world and will continue to do so

We get in ruts.  We listen to lies inside of ourselves because we're tired, don't know how to combat them or just possess no self esteem.  But, ladies, it's time to get real with yourself.  We can't live another moment in the darkness of our own lies.  Sure, some lies we tell ourselves are based on mean things people have said or the ways we've been abused...by others or ourselves.  But, don't let this continue.  Drop the lies and get real.  Stay real.

Take Good Care Today.

Let it Go ... Leave it there!

Aren't we all so great at stating and restating the phrase, "Let it go?"  Some of us can state it AND do it...I know I CAN.  I CAN totally say it and I can do it....but I TAKE IT BACK!  I totally take it back!  Apparently, I let it go with a string attached so that I can pull it back.  Or, more like it - it is a rubber band attached and not a string.  I throw it and it bounces back all on its own!  

Oh yeah, I'm terrific at letting things go!  

For a minute, what would it look like if we just let go of things the first time? There have been times when something is bothering me and I know I feel weird but I don't remember what it was that was bothering me...so I dig and dig until I come up with the reason and most often it is something that was trying to be let go of...but I yanked it right back up so that I could make myself totally miserable all over again.  Wahhooooooo....what a ball of laughs I am.

Except, I am not alone in this, am I?  I know I am not.  Many of us try to let things go, or let them go successfully for a small amount of time...only to hoist that rubber band back up and pull the nastiness back into our own laps.  Why do we do this?  Perhaps because we are familiar with the old way.  Perhaps we simply enjoy misery.  Perhaps we have nothing to replace the hole that the old thing we threw away left.  Whatever the reason, we do it and we do it a lot.

Try, try very hard, to let things go and leave them there.  I know we've all done exercises where we write down the issue and then burn the paper or toss the paper in some pit of hell.  We do the exercise but for some reason we are so very willing to burn our fingers or revisit hell to pull that precious issue out and wear it all over again.  These tasks are helpful but only symbolic.  We can always take back our problems if we need; what we need to do is NOT NEED to take them back.  We need to not have the desire to pile crap up and let it weigh us down.  Desire coupled with the know how is a genuine recipe for victory in this department.  We must want to let things and go then literally leave things there...in the 'not to be retrieved' pile.  Don't even consider going back for it.  It is not an option.  

So, if you are deciding to let something go, also decide to never take it back.  You will be very glad you left things alone and moved on.  See if you can do this...and let me know how you did it, because I'm still working on it!  

Take Good Care Today!

The Past Is Over

People understand time through a few important abilities:  they can remember a sequence of events and  anticipate future happenings.  Sometimes these are two of our best attributes and other times they are some of our worst.

My female dog doesn't seem to remember being scolded every morning for ripping the stuffing out of her bed each night while we sleep.  She remembers when we scold her, 'oh no, I've done it again', but she doesn't have enough memory to stop herself from doing the bad deed.  This is a case where memory would serve a good purpose.

Humans are not like this.  We remember the past.  Often we remember it all too well.  Sometimes it serves us well to keep memories and other times it is high time we let the past go.  Yesterday is over.  There is not one single thing that can be done about it at this point in time.  We can't alter it just as my dog can't stick the stuffing back in her bed and pretend it never happened, (I wish!).  We must live with our memories, our pasts, and use them to build our futures.  This is when memories serve us well.  

However, if you are clinging to the past with shame and regret, it is time to let that go.  Rise today out of the ashes like the Phoenix and be who you were meant to be.  Shine your face to the heavens and live today for today.  Live today for now.  Live so that tomorrow can be bright and beautiful.  If things aren't rosy right now, put on a happy face anyway.  Fake it 'til you make it...as they say.  Let the past go, don't live in it any more.  You are wasting your time.  Be fresh.  Refresh.  

Take Good Care Today.  

You Deserve the Best

You may have had to settle for less in your lifetime. You may have had to make do. There may have been times when you did for others and let yourself wait. These are probably all character-building sacrifices that each woman, at one time or another, faces. However, if it is never your turn, if you never get the best, the cream off the top...something is severely wrong.

I remember having only one car. My husband drove the family car to work and I stayed with the kids. It was a sacrifice we made. I remember serving the best foods to my children. I can recount times I gave money to another when I, too, needed it. We are called to care for others and these are good things we do.

But, my friend, you deserve the best as well. We live our lives going through the hard times so we can rest a little easier in times of plenty. You must remember to give yourself those special things that make you happy. You must treat yourself like you are good enough to have the very best. Purchase for yourself the delicious foods, the pretty clothing. You deserve the desires of your heart. You are a woman who has worked hard through this life. Bestow upon yourself those very items that bring you joy. It may be something little like a daily latte or your floral perfume. Whatever it is you love, you must have.

The best is waiting for you to partake of it, simply because you are you and you deserve the best.


Take Good Care Today.

There is Good in the Universe

If you believe that everything is working for your good in the universe, I truly believe that it is. However, I also believe that what we put into this world via our intentions and our actions, will come back to us and we will be rewarded with inner richness and a calm serenity.

We all have bad days, or a series of bad days. We have issues that cling to us, pains that won't leave us, problems that present themselves in the most inopportune times. But, our attitudes go a long way in helping us live the brightest lives. We are given full lives to live and one aspect of keeping the goodness returning to our hearts is to keep our eyes on the universe above.

Years ago I used to climb this mountain to our 'camp'. The building had long deteriorated, but the mountain it resided upon had a panoramic view. Somehow, whenever I was up there, I felt that my life was good and that everything would work out for the best. It did not matter what troubles I was facing, once I climbed that mountain and looked upon the vastness of the horizon and sky above, I knew all would be well.

Ladies, it is easy to get caught up in the worries of life, but keep your eyes on the horizon! Look out and know that all is working for your good. Continue to push those positive energy thoughts, prayers and affirmations out into the universe and the very same positivity will return to you. You cannot always see yourself through the tough times you are in, but you must hold on and have faith. Each tough time in your life will come to an end. I promise. The sun will ALWAYS come out tomorrow....

Never lose hope in the richness and power of what lies beyond you. Good is working in your life …. for you.

Take Good Care Today.

Other People's Expectations

Ladies, are you sick of other's people's expectations of what you should do with your lives, look like, act? I know, I am. You only have to watch a little bit of television to get the hint. Unrealistic and wrong expectations for us are set and they do nothing to help us cope with our day to day lives not to mention keeping up our best selves.

I recently watched a popular cooking show and I was interested in the bathing suit 'help' they were going to offer women. First of all, the very fact that we need bathing suit help is offensive and that it is on a morning cooking show is just downright weird...but I digress... This bathing suit help began by showing women in suits who just weren't good enough. The woman hired to present this on the show went on to display 'chicken cutlet' inserts for breasts that were too small, ruffled padded bikini bottoms for women whose butts weren't shapely and a pad for the front of suits of women who had the darn nerve to display camel toe! I sat and watched and thought, “This is ridiculous, we can't even go swimming without having to add crap to our bodies!” Why isn't the female body good and presentable with NONE of those silly attachments? I want to know who invented the need for this dumb stuff?

Now, every single woman knows how hard it is to get over society's expectations of the perfect female. I resent that other people put their expectations on us. How dare one other person tell another what they should look like? It makes me froth at the mouth to think that people would judge others in this respect.I do a fine job judging myself and have for years. I have tried to uphold myself against an impossible standard that is unachievable. My body is curvy and will not conform to the straight, stick thin models American women are 'supposed' to take after. How much of our lives are we to devote to this unending push for perfection? And who dares claim they know what perfection is anyway? I'm sickened.

Hollywood is sick. The folks who cut themselves, push themselves into conformity, starve themselves, whatever...to fit a standard or a mold are lost and disillusioned and I find it very sad that so many women are kicking themselves because they cannot achieve standards that are made by these folks. (Myself included....very much so!)

Ladies, give yourselves a loving break. Look in the mirror and like YOU for YOU. Dress YOU for YOU, love YOU for YOU. You are the best at being you and you are perfect the way you are!

Take EXTRA good care today...

New Day

“Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.” ~Lucy Maud Montgomery

These words are perfect to offer to a person who is feeling defeated and full of mistakes. It is a quote that applies to every age on any occasion. It is SO TRUE. I've used this phrase to encourage others, but there have been a good number of those times that I've repeated these words to myself. I have needed to begin again so many times in my life. I've gotten discouraged and disillusioned more times than I can count on two hands and two feet.

Life is a series of circular events. We have an issue we are dealing with and quite often we face that very same issue time and time again in life. We think we've conquered our problem(s) only to find that it resurfaces again and we need to start fresh on a new day. There are other moments in our lives where we simply get down or discouraged, we've handled something wrong or we're carrying regrets. These moments are a struggle and we need to keep life in perspective by remembering Ms. Montgomery's words.

Tomorrow is always fresh. There are no mistakes in it. If tomorrow is fresh, then the rest of this day is also fresh. We have no errors in our future. As far as we know, anything and everything that lies ahead of us is error-free! This is a wonder to us. We have each and every opportunity to live free of the past, to release it and exist for the very next moment that is headed our way. Take courage in the fact that each new moment in our lives is fresh, with no mistakes and...

Take Good Care Today.

File Your Worries

During one of the most challenging times of my life I found a way to put my troubles aside for a time. Each night, during this most difficult time, I would lie my head on my pillow and be unable to sleep. One night I said to myself, “Jane, open up a file drawer in your mind and put this problem in there for the night, then you will be able to sleep.” Do you know that from that point on I was able to file my problems into their respective file drawers and there they stayed.

I still view my mind as a file cabinet. Each issue or task in my life gets filed when I am not using or working on it. This way, I am not obsessing over it constantly.

 Take work, for instance. I am NEVER going to get to the bottom of the piles at work. There are tasks upon tasks, lists upon lists, files upon files. The work load is never-ending and it is very easy to take work home or at least worry about getting everything done. However, if we make a file cabinet in our minds, we can open the drawer and file it away until the next day! This way, work is work and home is home, and my mind is my mind. At home, there is a whole new set of problems and issues. Again, we do the best we can, and then we file them away until the next available time that we decide to open the drawer and deal with things.

If you're waiting to for life to slow down, it won't happen. This is just not going to happen. There will be slower weeks than others. There will be weeks when there are no meetings and you are all caught up with work both at work and home. However, there will also be weeks when there are too many appointments, money is low, the cat is projectile puking and someone breaks an arm. You will be pushed into feeling overwhelmed and stretched. This is when it is best to remember that we need to take one thing at a time, deal with it the best we can, and then file it away in that file cabinet of our minds.

Slow down you mind, dear friend. Breathe and take life's issues one file at a time. They are NOT YOU. They Are Things.


Take Good Care Today.