Time Spent.

I've always thought a day was an awesome thing.  Especially a day you had all to yourself with nothing planned and nothing in front of you.  I mean, it is a blessing and a true gift and how you will spend it is entirely of your own design and desire.  If you put too much thought into it, you will ruin your day.  If you just let it happen, you may regret that you didn't do a certain thing you had been wanting to do.  There are so many ways to spend a 'free' day that you can consume your day trying to decide what is the best way to spend it.  One must have a light heart and a clear mind when they consider how to spend a day.

Even on a work day, there is some time you get to yourself.  There is always time, here and there, to somehow replenish, rejuvenate, or relax within your day.  However, many of us don't think about our days and we let them happen. I fear we might lose some of the preciousness of life this way.  

Whether a work day or a 'free' day, we have a DAY.  It could be our last day.  It could be the first of a million more.  We don't know.  Anything could happen to us at any moment so we should always live fully, but we can't live too fully because we'd waste away our bodies and funds and have nothing to use in the future, because of course, none of us want this to be our last day...

Days.  Time.  Moments.  If we aren't careful they get filled with video games, television, dumb things that don't matter.  But then again, who am I to say that anything is dumb?  What if it were all the same and life is life and whether we fill our days with lofty readings of Emerson and Thoreau or whether we watch a Netflix series-it doesn't matter?  What if none of it mattered and it is just life and life is just what happens and time passes either way?  We live awhile and we do our best and then we don't live any more.  

Oh well, pretty deep for now.  I'm glad I thought about all that and I'm glad that this is how my mind works, but for now, I'm going to refresh my coffee and listen to the birds.  That makes me happy this minute. Later, I'll read Walden and play Zombies. What makes you happy this minute?  How will you spend your day?

Take Good Care Today.

The Fire in the Middle of the Family

According to Native American beliefs, women are the fire in the middle of the family.  We are the ones that keep the home.  We make it comforting and soft.  Women have a special touch that makes the heart of the home and keeps those who belong happy and healthy.

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule.  There are men who can do this, but not the vast majority, in my opinion.  Also, there are women who can't do this well.  But, I do agree, that for the most part, women are the fire in the middle of the family.

A house is four walls with some furniture, but each woman takes what she has and makes it as comfortable and comforting as she possibly can so that her loved ones have a retreat to return to when the day is done.  I remember when my children were little I couldn't wait for them to return from school so I could see them in the environment I had prepared for them.  I did what I could throughout the day to make their home a sanctuary for them so they would feel sheltered from whatever happened throughout their days.  

The world is a rough place.  It is important to have a place where you can forget the world- where the world is your immediate surroundings and those surroundings are the very things that bring you the most joy so that you can re-energize for the following days.  If we didn't break away and return to that 'fire' we would lose stamina fast.

I find that if I go away on vacation for a long while (over a week, say) I begin to lose my bearings.  My spirit knows when it's not around its fire.  The longer we stay away from our fires, the more we lose ourselves.  There is no place like home.

Enjoy being the fire in the middle of your family.  They need you more than you know.  Make that fire bright and shiny so those whom you love are rekindled and refreshed!  You, too, benefit from your fire. Your benefit is two-fold.  You get the joy of being the fire-keeper and giving to others through that and you benefit from the warmth of the fire.  Enjoy your fire.

Take Good Care Today. 

It's None of Your Business

The Toltec religion teaches that we each live our own dream.  We experience what we experience, we perceive what we each perceive and we interpret on an individual basis.  No two of us are exactly the same and the experiences we go through are never identical.  We think one way about something while another thinks entirely differently about the same something.  Our 'dreams' are indicative to our own lives and no two are exact.  

Sometimes we think we know what other people are thinking.  How brilliant of us!  We think we can read minds.  In actuality, we cannot read another person's thoughts. (I have no idea how mentalists perform those tricks...) We are not blessed with that superior feature of being able to telepathically communicate, at least not as a large population.  There may be one or two people who have some phenomenal skill that no one can explain, but that aside...  I have been very, very  guilty of thinking I 'know' what another is thinking about me.  It has been one of my worst habits.  I am incredibly self-conscious sometimes and I NEVER think another is thinking good of me.  

Most often I make up crazy stories about how I think others are considering my imperfect body, lack of knowledge about World War II or how poorly I tell a joke.  I wonder how many times I've been right about what they are thinking?  More importantly, I wonder how many times I've been wrong?

I read a quote yesterday that said, "What others are thinking about you is none of your business."  What an epiphany that was!  It is truly none of my business what others are thinking about me!  I love that.  I don't want it to be my business and I have no idea how and when I decided it was!  I give that up to the universe right now!  No way do I want the job any more of considering what others are thinking about me.  

If I am doing the best that I can do, each and every day, and I am living my life happily and joyfully with integrity, supporting a healthy moral set, why should I have a care in the world?  I need to care less.  Somehow I thought it was my job to care what everyone thought about me.  Well, you know what?  I can't carry that load any more.  I am me and you are you.  Those who will love us will love us and those who won't, won't.  But, if they don't....it's none of your business.  Move one.  Next?

Take Good Care Today and Mind Your Own Business.  :)

Swear Not By the Moon

Juliet tells Romeo to not swear by the moon because the moon changes all the time.  It is not constant enough to be something one would swear by.  She was right.  The moon, in all its phases, is clearly not to be trusted.  We cannot rely on the moon to guide our days, or our nights.

To me, 'swearing by' something is making a promise.  Promises are tough.  One has to be totally secure in their decision before they can make a promise that they can then swear by something to keep it.  I am not sure I have enough control over the world to make a promise that I can keep for sure, for sure.

What I do know is that I can live a life where I promise to try real hard and do my best.  It is important to me to know that I have put in a full day even if that full day is resting.  It is important to me to take care of myself and those who I love.  

I get caught up sometimes with my expectations.  I have VERY high expectations for life and always have.  I believe this comes out of having a pretty tough childhood. It wasn't until I was nine that I remember life settling down somewhat.  Up until then, I didn't have much of anything so when I got something I loved it dearly and brought it into myself.  I remember gifts I got for holidays, the bean bag chair and tape recorder.  Watches on my birthday.  I remember becoming attached to small places where I could sit alone and center myself.  But, event then, having little, I wanted something for myself, I wanted to be a person.  A wonderful person. A beautiful person.  A precious person.

What I didn't know was that I already was.  I didn't know that there was nothing I could do or 'swear by' to become that person.  I was a young girl who wrote poetry and walked miles along cow paths in the countryside.  I daydreamed and planned.  I became who I was going to be and there is little I can do to become better because I am already the best I can be.

I speak in the first person here, but only to tell you a story so you can relate it to yourself.  You are who you are.  Whatever that is, it is the best.  It is already within you and you don't need to 'improve' or 'swear by' anything to get or be better.  Rest assured that all you are is already in there--inside of you and you have it to show the world whenever you want to.  Or not.

Take Good Care Today.

Time

Time is a mystery isn't it?  There are times in our lives when we don't have a second to catch our breath because life is so busy.  Then there are times when we have so much time on our hands we don't know what to do with ourselves!  Time presses on no matter.  Whether we fill our moments with a ton of events or we just let time happen and watch it evaporate...either way...it dissipates.

I feel like I spend a lot of TIME thinking about how to spend my time.  I don't like wasted time.  That is, I like to know I've accomplished things that need to be done before I waste time.  It feels good, after having worked hard, to waste a little time doing nothing much.  When I work all day, I look forward to the couch because that is one of my places where I do virtually nothing.

I also don't like others to waste my time.  My time is precious.  I want to be treated with the respect that any human deserves when it comes to my time.  I enjoy my time even if I am doing nothing spectacular with it, so if you bother me, you better have a reason.  I don't mean to say I'm unfriendly, I just mean, I don't want my time wasted.  I want the common courtesy of not having my time wasted.

I also want to be paid for my time.  If I am performing a job that is in my professional field and you are not my best friend, you're going to have to pay me for my work.  That is just how it rolls.  I wouldn't expect you to perform a job for me without paying you, because that is how you make your living.  I want to support people who need to make a living, and frankly, that's all of us.  I don't want to take advantage of someone's skill set.  That said, I don't mind trading time with others.

Time is a valuable commodity.  It slips away from us so easily. We spend years of our lives agonizing over the menial and frivolous when in reality, there is not enough time for that. We put our blood, sweat, tears and time into things that really are of no consequence...maybe that's a good thing?  Maybe it's just a thing. We have no idea how much time we have, yet sometimes we spend it like it's dispensable.  Perhaps it is.  We'll never know.

Think about time today.  How will you spend it?  Are you wasting your time?  If you are, I hope you are having a blast doing so!

Take Good Care Today.

You Create Your Own Reality

I am working on not being an emotionally run person.  I've been working on this for as long as I've known what emotions were.  When I was younger, however, I didn't know emotions could be controlled by me.  I didn't realize that not only was I NOT at the beck and call of my emotions--I had created them!  I just didn't know these insights.

I know them now.  This does not by any means mean that I am a whole lot better at living a life with my emotions at bay.  I wish I were.  I have found that if I am really tired, that's it, I'm done.  My emotions wreak havoc on my worn-down self.  But, even knowing this has been a benefit.  My husband recently lost his mother and he has noticed that when he is tired, he can't handle things well.  Unfortunately, when we are not handling things well, we get even more tired and this can be a vicious circle.  But, we live and learn.

Emotions like to be felt and they like to be heard.  That is the nature of what an emotion is.  We have to come to the realization that WE are NOT our EMOTIONS.  We feel emotions.  We do not exist as an emotion.  Knowing this, we should be able to live our lives in better form.  We should remind ourselves daily that the feelings we feel have been created by the stories we tell ourselves.  Sometimes those stories are not based in reality.  Our reality is what we make it.  It is what we think it is.

Try to view the world today.  Watch it but don't get pulled into the emotional side of it.  Feel, but don't react.  You may discover you've had a much better day.  Don't tell yourself any stories about today.  Just live it.  I'm going to try this, too.  You are not alone!  Here's hoping we both do well!

Take Good Care Today!

It's The Little Things

Robin's Song

Not long

Robin's song,

Bring joy to my soul.

Happiness rises

new disguises

o'er pain.

Pull from me

don't let me be

No good without you.

There's serenity

your voice to me

wash away the world.

If there were none

You'd be the one

Robin, your song.

Get Out of Your Head!

How much time do you spend obsessing and worrying?  WASTED!  ALL WASTED.  Trust me, this post is for me as much as it is for anyone else who does the same thing I do.  Let's get out of our own heads!

Ego.  I read about ego.  I listen to audio books that teach about ego.  I know ego is something I want to diminish so that I can live free and serve the world with all I have.  I don't mean self-esteem when I say ego...I mean that side of ego that looks for approval, that needs to fit in, that cares what others think.  Drop that side....do what you can.  Educate yourself about what that part of your ego is...and then put into practice all that you learn.

You see, just because I am aware of my ego and it's endless picking at me, I don't seem to ever have the stamina to keep it at bay long term.  I think this might be because I am tired, too busy and I don't pay attention.  All of these reasons keep me in constant turmoil and pain.  If I would do the work, apply the knowledge, I would live a freer life, and the same goes for you.

People give me advice all the time about how to live a freer life, one that has less ego.  I hear it.  I listen.  I even try to apply other's ideas to my life.  But, somehow, emotion takes over.  I have lived on emotion a good deal of my life and  (okay, all of it) and it is hard to let that go.  I am emotional.  This is both my strong point and my weak point.

My mom and I were discussing this last week.  She listened to what I had to say and then told me she was the same exact way.  I knew this already.  I also know my daughter is the same way I am.  The three of us are passionate, emotional people.  My mother is THE most compassionate person in the world.  She is sweet and patient.  Kind and calm.  If you ever need a person to comfort you, it is she. My daughter is a whirling dervish of talent.  She is an actress, a dancer, a singer and quite funny.  She is a performer.  I am a combination of both.  I am very compassionate and loving, and I am a performer.  Emotion is strong in we three.

But, it is to our detriment as well.  We are so emotional that we end up fighting it because it can be embarrassing.  For me, it is so embarrassing that I berate myself and fight myself and wish I could be different.  This is where ego comes in.

If I deny my ego the voice and power to put  myself down and just be myself....emotion and all....what harm would there be in that?  No judgment.  Just life.  What do you think?  Would this work?  Would it work for you as well?

Take Good Care Today.

Demands of Life

We, as a society, work too much. We just do.  We work 5 days a week, quite often overtime.  We are pushed and pulled and maxed out.  All my life, I have never felt like I could keep up with a 5 day work week.  It has always stressed my body out.  It is no wonder that people struggle so much with issues like sleeping well, or keeping fit.  There is no time.  How can you eat right when you have no time to shop or prepare?  How can you get enough sleep if you have to tend to house cleaning or finally have two seconds to read at the end of the day?  We simply push ourselves too hard.

When the days get longer in the summer, I like to try to experience all I can of the daylight.  We get so little of it in the winter.  It thrills my soul to be outside, to be in the air and the light.  I want all I can get.  But, even that is tiring after a long day of work.  I am a firm believer that we need to take our work very seriously and give it all we have-- but then we must leave it be.

People are asked to give too much to their work.  I don't know if employers are trying to get more for their money; I am not sure.  I don't like to be asked to work for free.  I don't think it is fair.  I have put myself through 8 years of college and it cost me a lot of money.  Is it fair to use my expertise for free?  I think not.  Not for me, and not for you.  If you want me, pay for me.  That's fair, isn't it?  Do I sound pompous for asking that?  I think not.  I am only one person, I can't be spread so thin for nothing!

We need to pick and choose what saps our energies because things WILL steal from us and then we are left with nothing for ourselves.  That is no way to live.  Be very careful where you give your time and energy...because there is only so much to go around...and it isn't right that you are left with none for yourself.

Take Good Care Today.

Home Alone

I love being home alone.  I can do my thing at my pace.  I can sit where I want and leave messes if I feel like it.  I don't have the pressure of going anywhere or dressing a certain way.  I don't have to put makeup on or do my hair.  If you came by my house unannounced you would find me in comfy, over-sized clothing with my hair in twist on top of my head.  I would be in the middle of lazing around and reading or some house project.

But, I am never really alone.  I have these two huge dogs who are constant companions.  I have never lived without a dog, at least intentionally, or for long.  There have been times between deaths of animals that I have been without a canine, but truly not for long.  You see, I need the companionship.  I love knowing someone else is around to just 'be' with me.  I hear their breathing while I write this now.  It calms me and comforts me.  I could not live without companionship.  I do not want to.

Yes, animals are hard work.  Yes, they ruin things and make your house a little dustier (a lot), and hairier.  They steal your cookie or puke in the middle of the night, but I don't care.  I love them.  I need them.

It isn't loneliness, per se, that brings me to owning an animal, and yet perhaps it is.  I LIKE to be alone, I enjoy it.  But, it isn't human companionship that I always need.  I love people and need, want to be around them, but there are times I've had enough of people.  I need myself, alone, with my dogs.
It is my happy place.

How about you?  Do you have things that bring you that inner comfort?  If you haven't tried owning a pet, I suggest you give it a shot for there is nothing like it.  A spotless home, though I admire one, doesn't compare to the love of an animal...

Take Good Care Today.

No Pain No Gain

When you're a child you don't know.  You have no idea why things happen the way they do and often you don't think to question how or why because it might not occur to you to do so.  Why would it?  Does a caterpillar question why it makes a cocoon?   When you are little you rely on the world to make decisions for you.  You are not capable of deciding for yourself, protecting yourself or guiding where you go.  You need protection and help.

Childhood is a time in our lives where many of us received hurts that have been with us our entire lives.  We are the products of families where there has been divorce, violence, poverty, neglect.  In these cases we had to learn, from childhood, to find a way to fend for ourselves in order to survive.  Many of us are able to rise out and make better lives for ourselves, but others wallow in the same misery forever.  Either way, the pain is still there.  

Some people learn to become people who can fit into the norms of life quite naturally and deal with events well, roll with things and keep it together.  Others can not.  Some people conform to an ideal in order to cope, put up with unrealistic inner parameters, or just get depressed.  Others turn to substances to help them deal.  Whatever our childhoods, we have turned into adults who have had to find a way to press on and live.  We want happiness and joy and we do what needs to be done to experience that.  

However, hurts can remain embedded within us and have helped to form who we are.  This is not always a bad thing!  Hurt can be used to inspire and mold.  It can drive people to become amazing humans who accomplish wonderful feats.  But deep inside, there might always be some pain.  That is okay.  It is okay to have pain inside.  It is what makes us human.  We learn to live life with some hurt because there is no way to not do so.  We learn to take that hurt and have compassion for others.  There are many folks who do not have compassion.  If you are a woman who has suffered and has a down day once in awhile, count your blessings that you have felt on every level from the wondrous highs to the painful lows.  This has molded you and made you a unique gift to the world.  You have much to share with  and much to be for the world.

Let your pain teach you help you be the special woman you were meant to be.

Take Good Care Today.  

Be The Ball

If you've seen the movie, Caddy Shack, then you remember the scene where Chevy Chase is teaching his caddie to 'be the ball'.  The caddie is looking for direction and seeking advice from Chevy Chase (not recommended).  But, the advice, in this case, is not all bad.  Sometimes we are in situations in our lives when we can't envision what our next moves are.  We know we are in a place where we are unhappy but we don't know how to fix our situations.  This is a good time to 'be the ball' and heed Chevy Chase's advice.

Sometimes it is not physical situations that need to change, but our insides.  We don't know how to get to that 'person' we see in our minds that we want to be.  There is a woman there, ahead of us, we see her, we notice what she's wearing, we like her hair, her posture, her words.  We know she is us.  I know she is me.  But, I can't always reach her.  I get close.  There are moments in some days when I am almost her.   But, I can not say I have ever reached her fully.  Why is she so hard to reach?  Why can't I get there?  Why am I not her?

The truth is. if we want to be that woman we know we are capable of being, we must envision her and then simply 'be her'.  We must, 'be the ball'.  We must keep our eyes on her and our mouths must be under her control.  Our every move must be focused.  We must first think before we act so that we can train ourselves to be the ball.  We must pretend we are the ball until we fully are the ball.  Keeping our eyes on the ball will help us become one with it.

This metaphor is a good connection to make when you are feeling like that woman you so desire to be is soooooo far away and you don't know how she got there.  There are times we feel like we've lost her altogether.  She's still there, and we have to bring her back to light and then focus very hard on her.  She will, one day, become so much a part of us that, 'she is us'.  But, it takes focus and it takes practice.  We must continue to work on being the ball until we master it.

Take Good Care Today.  

Find Your Center

There can come a time when we become off-kilter.  We lose our centers sometimes from various happenings in life.  We go through experiences that knock us for a loop.  We get exhausted.  We do so much we have no time to connect with ourselves and rejuvenate. Sometimes life brings events that do this to us and sometimes we bring them on ourselves.  Either way, we get knocked off our centers just like Humpty Dumpty does the wall.

For me, right now, I am in the middle of this point of realization where I know I am off center.  I experienced a death in my family, I am overwhelmed at work, I can't get the exercise I need and my eating is whacked.  I am completely impatient with myself and feel that everything that I say or do is hugely wrong and over-sensitive or ridiculous.  That's my insecurity talking.  That's my off kilter side.  To top it all off, the sun didn't shine for days and the advent of June brought close to freezing temperatures.  

Now the question is what will I do to return to a centered human being that resembles what I desperately want to be?  Patience, time, laughter and some time alone.  Not necessarily in that order.  I know I need some time alone, running or walking or thinking.  I know I need to pull out some of my literature on ego, self and inner work.  I know I need to encourage myself to live victoriously in a world that wants to knock me down at every chance.  I know I need to stop the negative self talk and rise out.  AND...I know I need to lighten up and not take life so seriously.

Then, and only then, will my center be set right.   Then, and only then, will I feel renewed and ready to face the world again with my best self.  

I hope this helps someone today.

Take Good Care Today.

When the Rains Come

When the rains come there is nothing you can do to change it.  The weather will be what it is.  But, we don't have to let it rain inside our hearts.  We can find a way to add the sunshine into our days even if the rains want to, try to, wash it away and cloud it out.

There is the physical side of raininess which affects us.  It has a very strong pull.  We easily feel the weight of clouds and pressure.  The darkness messes with our natural rhythms.  We are easily tired, down or weary.

Then there is the emotional side of the raininess.  The dreariness can make us feel forlorn and sad.  It can take simple problems and magnify them.  There is a heaviness on our hearts when it rains.  If you don't believe me or feel it for yourself, watch a group of people when the sun finally comes out after a few days of rain.  You will see a lightness appear on each face and a collective mood swing to a higher point.

I think that if we try really hard, we can take the rainiess and dreariness and throw them aside.  It does take work.  Sometimes turning more lights on helps me.  Sometimes getting some exercise, even in the rain, can be beneficial.  We can do some healthy self-talk and remind ourselves that what we are feeling may just be the weather's influence.  You also can force a smile on your face and see what happens.  Flowers are nice to have around, or at least pictures of flowers.  Happy foods can lift your mood, too.  Try eating some fresh and bright foods.  Listen to uplifting music.  You CAN have an affect on yourself.

Rains will come.  Whether the weather brings them or life itself gets wet and muddy.  Try to lift your face to the heavens and instead of hating the rains, embrace them.  If you can't do that, then fight them with all your might and push through.

You can find the sunshine if you try hard enough.

Take Good Care Today.

When We Know Better, We Do Better

Many people go through life never changing, evolving or adjusting.  They simply say the same sayings, adhere to the same set of rules, think the same thoughts, hold to the same opinions....that they have always had...without ever challenging their beliefs.

This is a scary situation, especially when a person gets to be middle aged.  It should be high time that that person has reevaluated some of the their beliefs and changed their thinking and speech.  We should be constantly learning about life and learning how to be better people.  If we find that we have the same small and confined thoughts as we've always had, it might be time to do some intense pondering.

Over the years, I have been in contact with plenty of people who seem small inside of themselves.  They express fears and opinions that are reminiscent of a very underdeveloped mind.  When I hear someone I know well express the same words they've said for years, I wonder if they ever really think about things in a deep way.  I hate to see people not learn from their years on earth.  It is time to change our thoughts and ourselves.

Challenge the words that come out of your mouth.  Think deeply about your opinions on certain subjects.  How do you really feel and think?  What can you do to educate yourself more on a subject?  Consider that person that you've been judging one way all these years and think about life from their vantage point.  Try to understand situations in a new way.  Press yourself to change it up.  You may find that you need to do this.  You can't possibly have the same opinions you had in your 20's and 30's and even 40's.

Sometimes I've thought of something a certain way with definitive  parameters and I find out I've been wrongly thinking (or shallow)  for years!  What a sad situation.  Look inside yourself and see what needs to be rethought!  Then live your life better!

Take Good Care Today!

Don't Buy the Stereotype

Stereotypes are tough.  They are insidious and they are damaging.  We don't often realize when we are stereotyping someone and we don't often realize when we are stereotyping ourselves.  We cannot get through this life, it seems, without being the recipient of another's judgments, however, we can be careful to not judge ourselves.  

Often someone will say something to us and it hurts us to a point that we change a little inside after their comment.  If someone is coming from a kind and loving place and they want to help you to become a better person, it might be a positive experience for us to receive their comments in order to be a more outstanding human on this earth, but the person had better be pure of heart when doing so....and a very dear friend who knows you well.  They must be experienced and wise and have only your best interests at heart.  They must not be stereotyping you, putting you in a category for a weird reason, but truly wanting to guide you.

Others will give you a label, put you in a box and hurt you for years.  For example.  "Crying is a sign of weakness, and those who cry a lot are weak."  Oh boy.  Don't get me going.  I think I'm pretty strong.  I've lived through much and have come through better each time.  It takes me a minute sometimes to adjust to life's little quirks, but after I do, I take them on with a fever.  That said, I'm a crier.  I cry.  I cry at meetings.  I cry in front of my students, I cry in front of their parents.  My colleagues know I cry,  I just cry.  I am an emotional, passionate person.  I get tired, overwhelmed, moved, touched, pushed....all are triggers that make me cry.  I FEEL.  I cry from compassion a lot which is my NUMBER ONE trait.  I am compassionate.  Would I want me any other way?  Nope.

What can I say?  Don't stereotype me as weak.  Because crying and weakness are not synonymous. 

Are you feeling stereotyped?  Don't buy it.  Speak to that situation and hold your finger down on any type of stereotyping from others or from yourself.  You are unique and you don't fit a mold.

Take Good Care Today.

Create Deep Relationships

Life is meant to be felt deeply.  We are made to feel strongly and to connect to each other in a way that binds us together.  Sometimes we have family to whom we are very, very close.  But not always, many people feel they are closer to certain friends than to family members.  Wherever you are and whoever you find yourself close to, be sure you make some of those connections strong.

My husband has always said one should not have friends at one's workplace.  He has worked for the same company for 20 years and he has held pretty close to this.  He does have a couple people he has bonded with but would rather remain distant from others because he doesn't feel work should be combined with personal.  

I, however, throw it all out there and gather closeness where I can.  I don't much care where it comes from.  Let me clarify.  I don't mean I'll take any kind of closeness.  I mean, it matters not to me from whence it hails.  We can't force closeness so when I make a connection with someone I am thrilled and try to nurture that.  Sometimes I especially need it at work!  But, that said, I see my husband's point because I have been burned at work.  ALWAYS  know who you can trust.  

When it comes to family, sometimes you try very hard and can't make connections that are deep with certain people.  I have more than a few family members that ought to be very close to my heart and they just don't make it there.  Why?  Well, sometimes because they pull away and other times I don't allow them in.  Not everyone is a fit.  Even when we encourage a fit, we don't meld together.  

Find those who fit for you and love those relationships wholly.  Nurture the bonds and create the memories together.  Life is WAY too short to not be close to one another.

Take Good Care Today.

Hope Springs Eternal

Alexander Pope said it.  "Hope springs eternal in the human breast, man never is, but always to be blest."  

Thank goodness for words like these.  If I didn't hold close to hope, I might have thrown in the towel many years ago!  But, I have always clung to this word and it has inspired me to press on knowing that hope will rise again in my heart and I will pull through anything.  

When in the midst of turmoil and strife it can be so hard to keep the way clear to hope.  We get disillusioned and confused.  We lose hope and put our faith in nothing.  We can't imagine our way through a situation so we give up hope.  When we are down and out and can't see a fix, the last thing we should do is give up.  Here is a story for you to prove my point:

It was 1994.  We were living in an old farmhouse in a rural town in Vermont.  You could see another house from the front yard if you tried.  A car went by once or twice an hour.  My husband had purchased a second-hand furnace to heat our old home with and was situated on the back of his pick up with it.  The truck was backed in toward the bulkhead of the basement and he was scratching his head trying to figure out a way to get the 350 lb. unit off the truck so he could wheel it into the cellar. I poked my head out the front door and I said, "Let's pray it off!"  He laughed but no sooner did he begin his chortle than we heard a diesel engine coming.  This rarely ever happened. We were both astonished when a bucket loader came around the corner. It wasn't it a piece of town equipment.  We had never seen the driver before.  My husband waved him over and asked him what he'd charge to get the furnace off the truck.  The man replied, "I don't know but it'll have to be quick!"  He swung in, took the furnace off the truck and was on his way.  From start to finish the entire episode lasted under 5 minutes.  In my eyes, it was a miracle and the man was an angel.

It's the small things, folks.  Never give up hope.  Miracles come in all forms, shapes and sizes.  Sometimes they run on diesel fuel.

Take Good Care Today.

Tomorrow Tomorrow and Tomorrow

There is always tomorrow.  We don't need to stress about getting everything done in one day.  Sometimes it has been hard for me to put things off until tomorrow.  It can be a challenge for me to not get everything accomplished from sunrise to sunset.  I've had to learn to take it slower, be calmer and chunk out tasks and endeavors.

A personal struggle I've had is that I don't like being outdone.  Because of this, I've pushed myself so much that I get exhausted.  It is silly to think you're going to be the best at everything.  But, yes, I've expected that of myself throughout my lifetime.  I've run farther, taken more courses, read more books, etc. in order to be better, better, better.  The BEST.  But, it cannot be maintained throughout a lifetime and it should not be.  We should settle into who we are and question why we feel so driven to be better, when what we are is enough and lovely as it is.  So, I question this in myself and as I do I settle and relax and accept and appreciate.

There is always tomorrow.  We keep rolling.  What we experience today, what we expect today, will be there tomorrow for us to pick up and go with again.  We don't have to push so hard.  We can accomplish what needs to be done in 2 days rather than one.  We will be just as great as we are now.

Tomorrow is a wonderful day and an amazing gift.  Leave some things to be done for tomorrow.  Rest in knowing that you'll never run out of tasks for tomorrow.  You'll need as many tomorrows as you have and to be honest, you'll have as many tomorrows as you get and you really can't change that.  Don't think too much about this, don't get too into your own head, just rest a little, calm down a little and leave a few things undone.  It takes practice.  If you have to write those items down so you can complete them tomorrow, do so.  But, then leave them there.  

Practice saving some things to do for another day.

Take Good Care Today.

When All Else Fails

When all else fails, dig down deep and pull yourself up and into life.  You can do it.  You have no other choice that is for your benefit.  It won't be the last time you do so.  It is a good talent to hone.  We sometimes get tired and overwhelmed.  We are overbooked, over committed and over the top!  We have too much to do and too little time to accomplish what needs to be done.  When faced with this, if you can't alter what you are involved with or your commitment to these - this is when you jump in and don't look back.

When life begins to spin too fast for me and all I can do is dig in my heels, clench my fists and hang on for dear life, I try put myself on auto pilot.  I make ridiculously over-detailed lists for myself, often even referring to when to eat.  I stick close to the list so I don't forget a single item and I ride the wave of life until the ocean settles down.  I always keep in mind that it will settle down.

I've been here before.  It's a fast moving comet and I'm on the tail.  I fly high and spin fast and the propellant motion keeps me alight.  It is not something that can be sustained for long, but I find that if I am over planned and completely organized, I will prevail and all will settle down when it does.  

Others are so careful and easily float through these times without planning or an organized manner.  I don't know how they do it and I am a bit jealous that they can.  Often things roll along so smoothly for these folks and one would never know that they didn't put the same amount of stress and angst into getting through the same exact situations you are going through.  To each his own and I am glad for them, but I can't roll that way!

When the dust settles we all find ourselves at the same point anyway.  We just arrive at different times and by alternative routes.  It can be a rough ride, but whatever works for you...works for you.  Ride the waves of life and hang on!

Take Good Care Today!

Practice Zen

When I say 'practice Zen' I don't mean actually practice the religion, although, you certainly can.  I am using the word as it has come to mean in our modern times, with a very liberal approach.  I simply mean, remain open, detach from situations, and roll with things.  I can do this pretty well, but sometimes, I just have to remind myself to calm down and go with life.

Silly things bother me.  Truly, I will let the dumbest life events, or situations annoy the heck out of me.  When I focus on these bothers, they grow.  I internalize them.  I invent scenarios around them. They get bigger and stronger within me.  I devote good, honest time to them.  They get more annoying and harder to deal with.  I imagine if I do this, I am not alone; you might do this, too.

If I make a conscious effort, however, to release what is bothering me to the universe, I calm down and suddenly realize how  wasteful my time was spent pining over irrelevant things.  What does it matter if someone gets there first?  What does it matter if I take direction from another person?  How will my life alter if I just relax and let the flow of life exist as it is going to, smile and adjust, do my best and move on?  I think only good can come from that.

I admire those of us who can so easily do this.  I honestly do know people who are like this.  Things don't get to them.  They don't get offended, or feel pushed around, or annoyed.  Or at least they don't seem to.  They just appear relaxed as life's situations revolve around them and they are thankful and sincerely sweet.  All the while I am bucking in the corner like a bronco trying to get what they have and miserably stewing.  I want more for myself.

So, I am going to breathe in my zen.  I am going to remind myself to let things go.  Nothing really matters.  We are little drops in a spinning universe.  Large bodies of astronomical masses spin around us and we choose to agonize over THE MOST INCONSEQUENTIAL THINGS.  I want to be more enlightened than this.  I choose ZEN today.

If this helps you to choose ZEN as well, let me know sometime!

Take Good Care Today!

Go Where the Love Is

There are going to be people who don't know how to find their way to the love side of life.  There are going to be people in your family, people with whom you work...somehow, somewhere, sometime, you are going to have to be around these people.  This has always been an oddity to me.  These folks seem to mire in their own misery.  Day after day they are downcast.  Month after month they spread their down-turned faces to the world dragging those around them into their despair.  

I can't do it.  I can't tolerate it.  I won't go there.  I refuse to be dragged down.  This makes me the outcast in their group, quite often.  But, let that be so.  I have a down day now and again, but I refuse to remain in that place.  I want to receive the goodness of the world and I want so desperately to shower that goodness wherever I go.  I cannot and could not face the world each day with the glum of the folks that do.

I know we each have our struggles and I am sure this is the struggle of the downtrodden person.  They don't want to be this way.  It takes a lot of inner work to rise up out of it.  One needs to work on their self-esteem, confidence, ability to relate to others.  All of these are deep rooted and are some of the reasons people remain in their misery.  But, I don't have to be pulled in.  I won't be.

Funny thing is, there is usually more than one person who suffers this way.  They gather together and feed off each other.  They build strong bonds where their harsh view of the world is tolerated and where others, the positive ones, just don't fit in.  Let them have each other.  They are free for the taking because I choose to go where the love is.

Go with me.

Take Good Care Today.  

Hold Your Tongue and Your Ego

Certain things just don't need to be said.  Words might be itching to escape your mouth and you are just dying to let them fly...but a little restraint goes a long way sometimes.  It is one of the most difficult things we can practice and it takes A LOT of practice to contain our mouths.  I have worked on this over the years and I continue to do so.  I am not sure anyone is perfect at this.

If you invest some time into learning about the 'ego', you can discover why your mouth wants to get away from you.  When we stay connected to our egos we find we must express every thought that pushes to the surface.  We need to be heard.  We want to get OUR thoughts out.  We want to push OUR opinions on others.  We want to express what We know.  All of this is our egos...fighting to be heard.  Wanting to take over.  

I try so hard not to offer my opinion to someone unless they are asking for it.  (Unless I am in the classroom, then it is my job to offer my opinion.)  People use others to bounce ideas off from and it is okay to just listen to others and smile and let them have that opportunity.  However, once you get your ego involved, you've gone too far.  You've crossed the line of a good listener.  Ego: 1.

Have you ever been innocently visiting with another when they offer advice about your housekeeping or clothing?  This is their ego surfacing and they are judging you by their standards.  It is hard not to do this.  It is also difficult when it is done to you.  The best way out is to smile and move on, because truly it is unintentional most of the time.  

What a freedom it is to NOT offer your ego all the time!  Try it.  You see the world from a very unbiased and clean venue.  

Take Good Care Today.  

Know What You Know

How many times have you felt that little twinge in your center that tries to tell you to stick with what you know?  Advice comes from all over. However, though much of the words we receive from others is well intentioned, it does not always apply to us.  We often seek wisdom from others and go down paths that we truly believe, for a time, will be our new salvation.  However, many times in our lives, our answers laid within us, waiting to be uncovered.

We can't always be objective when it comes to our own hearts and minds.  We think we should be something we're not.  We think our ways aren't valid.  Others insert their words of wisdom into our lives without our asking.  We are pulled in various directions.  We over-think.  We create angst.  We suffer.  We consider other's ways to tedium.  Then, somehow, mysteriously, we settle into what we knew all along.

We are wise within ourselves if we just stop and listen to our hearts.  We know what we know already.  We've spent our own lifetimes working through how to be specifically, 'us'.  We're quite good at it.  We can trust our own intuitions.  We're women.  This isn't the first time we've pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps   We know what we know.

I would encourage you today to think about what you know.  In the education world this is called, metacognition.  Thinking about your own thinking.  We so quickly seek advice but truly we know what we need to do if we go to that quiet place within ourselves.  There lies the subtle reassurance and directive voice that will guide us down paths that are healthy for us individually.  Take peace in that.  Pull from within yourself and trust that you know what you know.

Take Good Care Today.

You Are Fine the Way You Are

  I've spent a ton of time in my lifetime trying to improve myself.  I have never said, "There, Jane.  You are fine the way you are!  You look great at this weight, you have enough degrees, your soul has reached it's fullest potential!  Take a rest!"  I am not that kind of person.  But, I want to be...a little bit...

I want to settle down and know that I am fine the way I am, and in many ways, I have.  We have misconstrued notions of ourselves.  We think we could be better when in reality we're awfully good the way we are. If you are an over-achiever, like me, you strive for unreachable and sometimes unrealistic goals. (I don't mean unrealistic here, though that is a component.  I think I really mean unnecessary).

Seldom do we settle down and realize, we're fine the way we are.  If you are a person who constantly seeks to improve yourself, be accepted by others, etc., you don't come to the point very often where you say, I am done with this.  You seek ways to improve, hone skills, etc.  You want to climb every mountain and you want to improve on your time every time you scale the hill!

What I am truly trying to convey is that we don't have to always be working on ourselves with such dire desperation.  There are areas of our lives in which we already are winning.  We can let some things go.  We've achieved our potential; we've settled into success.   We are free to work on other areas....or not work at all...perhaps rest, enjoy and LIVE!

Take Good Care Today!

Moderation

If there is anything that has gotten me into trouble in my lifetime, it is not practicing moderation. I'm an extreme person.  I have over-eaten, over-exercised, over-worked, over-stressed...you name it, I can go over-board.

I have had to learn to be moderate.  It isn't always easy.  If I lessen my work load, I feel guilty just relaxing.  If I over-exercise, I am either too sore to move or I get addicted to that high and it consumes my life pushing all other needs to the edges and making them take a back seat.  If I overeat I am sick and over my goal weight.  If I overwork, I am extremely tired and rundown.  We all know what over-stressing is like...miserable. I am even addicted to education! 

I missed the Moderation Boat when I was forming my character.  I just did.  It totally left the dock without me on it and I have striven my entire life to find moderation and apply it to the excessive areas of my personality.  I have conquered quite a few on my list.  It is hard work.

It is good to look at ourselves and practice calming down in some areas.  Just being moderate has kept many people sane.  Moderate people are enjoying life more than we excessive folks are.  They don't get all crazy about things.  They breathe!  It is a good idea to breathe!  

Perhaps if we try to notice the next time we are going nuts, we stop in the middle and suggest to ourselves a more even or calm way to complete that which we are working.   Whether it is inner or outer work, we can relax a little.  Rome wasn't built in a day.

Take Good Care Today.

Books Are Knowledge

One statement I always tell my students is that books are free knowledge.  We live in a nation where libraries are still free.  There are free downloadable books.  People sell books for a dime on their lawns.  Wherever you go, you can find something to read.  There is no greater way to fill your mind with knowledge than with a book.

When I was a little girl we had virtually nothing.  We moved a lot, often spur of the moment.  I don't remember having a book for a long time.  When I was around 8 years old, we moved to an apartment that was literally right next door to the town library in a little New England town.  My favorite adventure was to go to the library and read books.  I stayed in the children's section for hours perusing the covers and indulging in the pages.  I would sit on the large window sills and stare out at pouring rain with head phones on and a cassette of Charlotte's Web in the tape player.

As I grew, I found it difficult to leave the library scene and I volunteered in libraries wherever my life took me.  I was blessed to have held some library jobs.  Each place I worked, I would stop and take books into my soul.  The touch and smell of a hard cover book cannot be replaced by electronic devices.  I love the tactical pleasure.  But, don't take my electronics from me for I have a vast library there as well.  I love books.  I love to fill myself with what they have to offer.  Books are free knowledge waiting to be consumed.

No matter what walk of life you are from, you can afford a book.  Do not let this opportunity to educate yourself for literally no expense pass you by.  Take advantage today of  a good book.

Take Good Care Today.

Spring is the Mischief

"Spring is the Mischief in Me."  ~Robert Frost

Spring is the time of year when all is new and fresh.  With the advent of spring comes the opportunity to think of your life and begin some things new.  If you are in need of any kind of 'spring cleaning' within yourself, either physically, mentally, emotionally...now is the time to take stock and make some adjustments.  This is the most promising time of year and it is okay to make a few of those promises to yourself. 

It is not that hard to set your mind to something and follow through.  We put a lot of baggage on the word, 'change' but it need not be difficult.  Change is good and change is necessary.  Change for the better is integral.  

We spend a lot of time trying to figure out how NOT to change.  We'll do just about anything to avoid it, including lying to ourselves, justifying everything, putting our own spins on things just to make them more palatable.  But the truth is, if you are spending all this energy avoiding change, you probably DO need to alter some of your ways.

Whatever it is, you can do it and you know what?  You'll feel 100% better for doing so.

Here are some common things we avoid:

Exercising

Losing weight

Cleaning

Organizing

Paying bills or dealing with monetary issues

And...the list goes on.

None of our issues feels good to carry around.  Pushing them away won't help.  Now is the time to take care of these issues so that you free up your heart and mind to enjoy the life you've been given.

Spring is the time to spring into action!

As Robert Frost said, "Spring is the Mischief in Me!"  Let it be the mischief in you as well!

Take Good Care Today!

Get Strong

 

There certainly is a balance in this life when it comes to caring for our bodies.  I realize we don't want to overdo and push ourselves to injury or pain.  However, I am going to get on my soap box about staying in physical shape.  I see absolutely no reason not to push ourselves off the couch and into some form of movement.  We need to keep our bodies strong, or we will age with difficulty.  

Age comes and there is no avoiding it and with the aging process comes an older body.  But, our bodies do not have to seize up and die!  Too many people just take what age has to offer and do not push themselves into making sure their bodies stay flexible and mobile.  It is a horrible disservice we do to ourselves.  

We need strong bodies.  Strong bodies support life.  They uphold strong minds. When we move our bodies we create strength.  We get oxygen to places that so desperately need it.  We give ourselves life and breath into the deepest crevices.  We support heath.

 It takes so little to get started.  Walking is a perfect exercise.  Lift a few weights between commercials.  We can institute 15 minutes of yoga into our daily schedule.  Any little bit helps and is beneficial.  You do not have to be intimidated by programs or people who work out for an hour or more.  Just do the portion you want to do.  Go your own speed, perform at your own level.  Each time you do so, you get stronger and healthier.

I really encourage you to get some exercise.  I truly believe it will help the aging process, minimize health issues and serve you well as each day shows its face to you.  Enjoy life all you can, get strong today!

Take Good Care.